Let her go
by islandgirl33
Summary: Things aren't all that they seem for Alex, and a turn of events finds him in trouble and needing to get out of Seattle fast! Will fate lead him back to the love of his life?
1. Chapter 1

A/N – This story starts off about six months in to the future and follows Alex on a journey back to Izzie. Set to the song 'Let her go' by Passenger.

It's an idea I've had for a while and wanted to share. I have big plans for the story, so as always any feedback really appreciated. Sometimes I find it hard to find the time or motivation to turn my ideas in to stories so thank you also to the people that inspired me to keep writing. This is for you :)

The story is rated T for now, but future chapters will become M!

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_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_  
_Only hate the road when you're missin' home_  
_Only know you love her when you let her go_

_Staring at the bottom of your glass_  
_Hoping one day you'll make a dream last_  
_But dreams come slow and they go so fast_

_You see her when you close your eyes_  
_Maybe one day you'll understand why_  
_Everything you touch surely dies_

_Well you see her when you fall asleep_  
_But never to touch and never to keep_  
_'Cause you loved her too much_  
_And you dived too deep_

_But you only need the light when it's burning low_  
_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_  
_Only know you love her when you let her go_

_And you let her go!_

_(Lyrics – Passenger – Let Her Go.)_

* * *

Alex gripped the steering wheel tightly as he sped down the deserted Northern Californian highway. All roads having seemingly blurred in to one by this point, as he kept driving, staring robotically at the long stretch of empty road ahead. He glanced in to his rear view mirror quickly and grimaced silently, gritting his teeth together, he knew it wasn't going to be pretty, as he took in the grim reflection of his handsome face battered and bruised. His right eye was red and swollen, his cheek bone crushed and his lip split, as a small trickle of blood escaped from his broken and bloodied nose. He lifted up the back of his hand to quickly wipe it away, trying not to cry out at the searing stab of pain shooting through his side with the sudden movement. He knew he needed medical attention, but getting that back in Seattle just hadn't been an option and he was far too proud to seek it when he reached San Jose either.

'_Have to keep going', 'just keep going'_. He silently willed himself. He'd been driving for hours. He wasn't quite sure how he had managed it. Whether he was spurred on by the fierce adrenaline pulsing through him at the thought of what he had to do when he reached his destination, or whether it was the unbreakable fighter instinct deeply rooted inside him, or whether it was simply that he just had no other choice, at that exact moment in time he had run out of options.

As the signs for San Jose became more frequent, Alex felt himself tense up with a knot of nerves as the hospital became closer and closer. He felt the cold metal of the whisky hip flask he had stashed in his shirt pocket pressing against his chest, everything in him was screaming to take a swig, just one swing, let the alcohol numb his mind and take control of his shaken body. But he wasn't his father, he wouldn't turn himself over to drink, however tempting that might be. He would make sure he had stopped driving at least, before he allowed himself that luxury. Although, part of him had given up caring, about anything. What was the point? His life was in tatters. He had nothing. Except, the one tiny glimmer of hope his jackass lawyer had presented him with a few days before. And with that thought Alex re-focused and kept driving. Driving to find his reason to live again.

It was mid afternoon and blazing sunshine as Alex finally switched off the car engine and breathed a slow sigh of relief that somehow he'd made it. Undoing his seatbelt, he opened the car door to slide out, this time unable to stop himself from crying out like a baby with the sharp sensation of pain that hit him as he slowly manoeuvred his injured body out of the car.

Walking up to the hospital entrance wiping the small beads of sweat away from his forehead, Alex thought how ironic it was that the city he had left behind had been overcast, grey and filled with dark clouds, while the one he had arrived in was nothing but bright and shiny, filled with glorious rays of sunshine beaming down and warming his tired aching skin.

He paused at the entrance as he pulled out the crumpled piece of paper that slimy idiot of a lawyer, Campbell, had given him. Before he read it again, he reached for his whisky flask, putting it to his lips and drinking, savouring every second. He didn't care if anyone saw him, by that point he was beyond caring. Tucking the flask back in to his shirt he scanned the note and folding it up to put it back in to his pocket, he took a deep breath, before making his way in to the hospital.

The hospital was filled with the usual chaos of doctors, nurses and paramedics rushing around at top speed, all on their way to perform some kind or other of life saving procedure, whilst confused, panic stricken patients and relatives wandered aimlessly around like zombies. Hospitals had been Alex's home for longer than he cared to remember, they were all he knew now. But he was used to walking around in his scrubs and doctors coat with his head held high, whilst people looked at him with respect as a good person, someone to look up to, to aspire to, someone that saved lives. Here now, people were looking at him with nothing but pity and slight disgust, just another messed up loser walking around the hospital with a broken nose and black eyes.

Alex stopped when he saw he was on the right floor and he froze as he realized he had no idea where to go from here. Would she even be here? Did she actually work here? Should he ask someone? What would he say?

The surgical department itself looked much like it did back in Seattle, everyone moving at top speed, so caught up in their own little world that they barely noticed anything else around them. Alex glanced around him, suddenly hit with a fresh wave of anxiety. What the hell was he doing here? He was just about to approach a young friendly looking guy in scrubs striding past him, when he stopped dead in his tracks. He spotted her. Causing an intense burst of adrenaline to rocket through him. There was no doubt he was in the right place. There was no doubt it was her!

She was sat at what looked like a nurse's station. She had her back to him at first, but he knew it was her, he would recognise her anywhere, even now. Her hair was really long again like it had been when he had first known her, and it was back to it's original platinum blonde, falling down her back in loose waves, the front section pinned back and away from her face. She shifted slightly to the right so Alex could see her face, she looked deep in concentration as she read through what looked like a patient chart, sucking on the end of a pen as she repeatedly brushed a loose strand of hair away from her eye. She hadn't changed a bit, she was beautiful.

Despite all the pent up bitterness he had harboured towards her over the years, just the sight of her automatically filled him with a sense of comfort. They were practically strangers now, he had no idea what was going on in her life, but just seeing her made him feel as though he had travelled back in time. To a time when somehow life had been so carefree, when they'd been so happy, he'd been so happy. But he knew thinking like that was pointless, he couldn't change the past, no-one could. He of all people knew that!

Snapping himself back in to reality, Alex continued to watch her from afar as he wondered just what the hell he was going to say to her, how would he even begin to explain why he was there? And what would she say to him? He wondered if she already knew, if she'd found out somehow. He would know immediately by the look in her eyes if she knew, if she hated him like everyone else did. Alex was aware that she kept in touch with Cristina, and he suspected Meredith too. Cristina had casually let it slip one evening when they had been sat in his front room, while he was eating take out with Jo. Cristina had said something about how she needed to get out of Seattle for a bit, so maybe she should finally taking Izzie up on her offer to go and visit her. Alex had been so taken aback he'd nearly choked on his food at the mention of Izzie's name.

He had no real objection to his friends keeping in touch with his ex- wife. They'd been her friends first after all, but somehow he had just presumed that like him, they didn't. He had caught Cristina's eye immediately as she knew he would, and he had been certain he had detected the faintest smug smirk and at that point he hated her a little, as he'd just turned away. She'd wanted to stir a reaction, knowing full well he'd be desperate to ask a thousand questions. But he didn't. Instead he remained silent for the rest of the evening, as much as he had wanted to quiz Cristina, he knew it wasn't an option. Not with Jo there, things were strained enough as it was. Even back then. Cristina had moved out soon after that evening and the chance to bring it up with her again never arose. But it didn't stop him from wondering all the same.

He had to admit he had been pretty shocked at first to find out Izzie was working in San Jose, at one of the country's leading hospitals. He wasn't shocked she was still a doctor, he knew she would figure that out somehow, but he'd just presumed she was working in Tacoma or somewhere similar. His lawyer, the only person still speaking to him in Seattle, had somehow found out all the details on her though. Where she worked, where to find her, he'd even offered to approach her on Alex's behalf when Alex had initially put up resistance to involving her. But although Alex had been reluctant at first, he knew he had to speak to her himself. He didn't need his lawyer to tell him, if he didn't speak to her soon, it would only be a matter of time before someone else did.

Still working up the courage to approach her, Alex started to feel like some kind of crazy stalker and for a moment he wondered if it had been a mistake to come here, it wasn't too late to walk away, she would never have to know he had even been there. But before he got the chance to entertain that thought anymore, a grey haired woman in a nurses outfit walked straight up to him, she was a little plump and stern looking, with glasses perched on the edge of her nose. "Can I help you? Do you need medical attention?" she said as her eyes looked over his battered, bruised face. Alex scowled a little at the condescending look she was giving him. He knew to her he looked like any other drunken jackass, on his way to the ER after a bar brawl, trying his luck, with probably no insurance to boot either. Alex scowled a little more he had never seen eye to eye with nurses and this one was no exception, he wanted to yell at her to get out of his face, that he was a respected surgeon back in Seattle. But instead he just looked away and muttered gruffly, "No, I'm waiting for someone."

"Okay," she said suspiciously, shrugging a little as she turned to walk away. Making Alex feel just like a troublesome adolescent boy all over again.

He looked back over to where Izzie was sat and he knew he just needed to man up and go and speak to her, but just as he started to walk in her direction, she stood up. She was wearing a fitted blue dress that clung to her body in all the right places. She was still in amazing shape, so damn hot, the cancer hadn't taken that from her he thought impressed. As unable to stop his eyes from eagerly sliding over her profile, he felt his body stir for the first time in weeks, with something that resembled arousal. No matter what had happened between them, he would never stop desiring her, he knew that.

Swinging her hair behind her shoulders, she waltzed breezily over to where an anxious looking family stood, parents with two teenage children. She smiled as she approached them and her face lit up a little, her eyes shining. She was back. Not the cancer stricken woman that had left him so painfully, but the girl he had fallen so deeply in love with, the girl that changed his world. _She_ was back.

As she launched in to some explanation to the family using big hand gestures and dramatic facial expressions, the family seemed to be hanging off her every word. She still had that affect on people, calming, reassuring. She had been a laughing stock back in Seattle on more than one occasion for her overly keen bedside manner, her habit of always becoming far too involved with her patients. But that was what made her so special, so gifted, Alex had seen that even if no-one else had, and watching her now he felt nothing but pride, that despite everything she had beaten the odds and lived out her dream to practice medicine and become a damn good doctor.

He stayed glued to the spot watching her for a further ten minutes, leaning up against the wall a little. Before the scary looking grey haired nurse came back to hassle him some more. This time she wasn't taking any crap, as she marched back over to where he was stood and snapped. "Sir, if you don't need to see anyone, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Alex knew he had to keep his cool as he looked her in the eye and said, "I do need to see someone actually, one of the doctors."

"Okay then, well follow me and I'll get you checked in and.." she said sighing a little, as he quickly interrupted her, saying firmly, "Nah, you misunderstood me, I'm not here for treatment. I'm here to speak with one of your doctors, Dr Stevens." Saying her name out loud for what seemed like the first time in years.

The nurse was silent for a second, looking confused as she processed what he'd said, and Alex wondered for a second whether that was even still her name now, before the nurse said sharply, "Wait there."

As she marched off, Alex suddenly felt sick, there was no going back now as he watched as the nurse walk straight up to Izzie. The older woman's face softening a little as she apologized to the patients, before touching Izzie's arm and leaning in to talk to her. Causing Izzie to quickly turn her head and look over to where Alex was stood. Their eyes instantly locking together as he met her gaze straight on, and _everything stopped_. Just for that brief moment it was as though the world stopped turning. The last three years of his life had never happened.

Making her excuses to the family she had been talking to, and thrusting the chart she had been clutching in her hand over to the nearest passing intern, Izzie quickly rushed over to where Alex was stood. Her pretty brown eyes unable to hide the complete look of shock from crossing her face. "Alex, oh, Alex," she exclaimed, her hand flying up to her mouth as she stood directly in front of him. She looked even more beautiful up close he thought, whereas he just looked like he had done ten rounds with Mike Tyson.

It should have felt awkward, but all he could feel was relief, she didn't know, he could see it in her eyes, she still looked at him the same way she always had, despite his drastic appearance. And before he could even say anything she flung her arms around him embracing him in a warm hug and despite the acute physical pain it caused him being crushed so tightly against his battered chest, he savoured every moment of it as he slowly breathed in her scent. Despite his best efforts to fight it, to move on, he had dreamed about this moment over and over, about what it would feel like to actually hold her again.

When they eventually broke apart she flashed him a shy smile as she smoothed down her dress, and he managed to force half a cheeky grin back at her, the first time he'd smiled properly in weeks as he said softly "Hey, Iz."

"My God, Alex... You still working in Seattle?" She said quickly, taking him off guard a little.

"Yeah," he mumbled, avoiding eye contact as he looked away. That was the first lie he told her!

Her wide expressive eyes still full of shock, searched his face curiously as she went on to say, "_What….what are you doing here?" _

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Ok so what do you think? I wanted to write something a little different, but I promise this is just the beginning, things are a little dark at the moment but there are some good times ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N – Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter, please keep reviewing. I hope you stick with the story as I have a lot planned for it! Also to those that asked, I will also be updating IDAU too (when I get the chance!)

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Alex let out a small sigh as he instinctively put his hand up to run it anxiously through his hair, trying desperately to find the right words to tell her. He couldn't. Instead he just looked at her, his eyes full of emotion, as she looked right back at him, her face full of concern and confusion.

"You're hurt, what happened?" Izzie eventually blurted out breaking the silence.

"It's nothing, I fell," Alex said quickly. That was the second lie he told her!

"You, _fell_," she repeated slowly, raising her eyebrows a little. He scowled slightly, knowing damn well she wouldn't buy that for a second, she was a doctor after all. Plus, she was pretty much the only person he'd ever met that had always had the ability to call him out on all his bull shit so expertly. That was part of the reason he'd always let his guard down around her, she knew exactly how to handle him.

"You need treatment," she said slightly more forcefully taking a step towards him, as he immediately took a step back.

"I'm okay," he snapped defensively, wishing he had attempted to at least try and patch himself up a little before he had raced down here.

"No offence, Alex. But you don't look okay," Izzie replied, her eyes widening.

"Look, I said I was okay, alright," he said raising his voice, causing a few people to stop what they were doing and look over at them, as a fresh look of shock crossed Izzie's face at his harsh reaction.

Realizing what he had done Alex took a deep breath, he knew he needed to compose himself and keep his cool, he had no right to yell at her, not now. He moved a little closer to her and a lot more calmly, he said, "I just….I just need to talk to you about something, okay, It's important. So, you got time to grab a coffee or something now?"

"Okay, yeah, sure," she replied slowly and seriously, nodding her head as her blond hair fell over her brow slightly and she swept in back, not moving her big expressive brown eyes away from his dark ones, and Alex breathed a silent sigh of relief that she wasn't quizzing him anymore about his injuries, for now at least anyway. Although he knew she wouldn't just drop it all together, this was Izzie after all.

"We can go to my office, it will be quiet there. Just give me a sec," she went on to say as he nodded his head in response and watched whilst she quickly walked over to the same young doctor she had passed her patient chart over to moments before. After a quick conversation she turned and walked back over to Alex gesturing for him to follow her.

"It's just down here," she said as her heels cluttered nosily across the sterile white hospital floor and still in a kind of daze Alex walked along beside her.

"So, you came all the way down from Seattle?" she said.

"Yep," he replied awkwardly.

"That's some way, Alex," she said curiously, as he just remained silent, walking tensely along the unfamiliar hospital corridors.

She was just about to open her mouth to say something else when another young doctor presumably an intern, walked straight up to them, interrupting her. The girl was short and mousey and she chewed on her lower lip as she said nervously, "Er..Dr Stevens, I've got the lab results back on Mrs Harris," passing a piece of paper she was clutching in her hand directly over to Izzie as she shot Alex a shy glance.

They were all silent for a second while Izzie scanned over the page a couple of times, before handing it back to the girl and saying cheerfully, "Okay, well you know what to do, go tell her."

The girl fidgeted a little before saying slowly, "Okay, but what if she's got questions…I don't think I…"

Izzie looked her directly in the eye as she said kindly, "Dr Thomas, despite what you might think, you're an experienced medical professional. How many times did you cover this kind of stuff in med school? You came top of your class, remember? Now go and speak to your patient and explain what her options are, and if she has any questions you can't answer, well you just tell her I'll be along to see her later, okay?"

"Okay," the younger woman said as a reassured smile spread across her face and her attention turned to Alex again as her eyes flitted curiously over him, before she turned and scurried away.

Izzie sure hadn't lost her way with the interns Alex thought as he watched the young girl walk off and he said, teasing a little, "Still got your knack with interns then I see," Izzie had always loved teaching and being so open and positive she really had a way of making them respond well to her. She'd been ridiculed for it by the likes of Yang and Sloan, but it had never put her off, and Alex had admired that. He, himself, had limited patience with interns, unless of course he had wanted to sleep with them. Then he had easily managed to find the time to answer their dumb questions.

In response to his question Izzie just shot him an unimpressed look, before saying a little more playfully, "You know, sometimes the way to get the best out of interns is to treat them with a little respect, like a half decent human being, it really works, you should try it sometime."

"I can be nice to interns," Alex replied smiling a little arrogantly, losing himself in the moment as he saw her catch his eye and smile back and it was as though no time had passed at all as he was hit with the familiar warm feeling he'd always got around her. Before reality set in and he quickly became more serious again, realizing the irony of his last statement was somewhat lost on Izzie as they stopped at the nearest coffee cart. And he watched as seemingly oblivious to his darkening thoughts, she waltzed away from him. Returning moments later with two coffees in her hand, flashing him a bright smile that made him ache all over, as she handed him one and said. "One extra frothy latte, one sugar." He shook his head a little and couldn't help but grin with amazement that she still remembered exactly how he took his coffee. No-one remembered how he took his coffee, not even interns that were trying to impress him. He glanced at her and she grinned some more and said, "Some things never change."

"They certainly don't," Alex replied as he held the plastic cup up to his lips and took a sip. Suddenly hit with an intense feeling of nostalgia and sadness, remembering all the little times she had surprised him with a coffee or one of her muffins or cupcakes to cheer him up when he'd been having a rough day, even when they hadn't been together, even when he'd been being a jerk. It was her way of letting him know she was there, that she cared. After she had gone he had slowly realized, that she was the only one that had ever really cared about him like that. And he wondered how he had gone from the guy who got brought the coffees, to the guy who kept buying the coffees, kept trying to please someone who couldn't be pleased.

…

"Here we go, we won't be disturbed in here," Izzie said as she opened the door to her office and following her inside the first thing Alex noticed was the strong smell of perfume or some kind of scented candles or potpourri, it was exactly how her old room had smelt at Meredith's. It had been a little over powering but he'd kind of liked it all the same, because it reminded him of her.

She gestured for him to sit as she moved to sit behind her desk. Looking around Alex was impressed, her own office, she must be a big deal here. He noticed how tidy and organized everything was, in contrast to the cluttered, muddled mess the office was that he'd shared with Robbins back in Seattle. At first Arizona had given him a hard time about how messy he was, but then she stopped caring, about anything. She was lost, just like he was now. Perhaps, maybe if she hadn't been such a mess, she would have been there for him, noticed what went on, had his back. But as it was she along with Cristina, were the last people to stick by him, despite the mess her own life was in and for that Alex was grateful.

Shaking off thoughts of Seattle and his old mentor Alex watched as Izzie carefully took the lid of her coffee and blew on it, and out of the corner of his eye he caught a silver picture frame to the side of her computer screen and his eyes lingered on it just long enough to see that it was Izzie with her arm around some guy! He suddenly felt a jolt of pain as he noted they looked happy and like they were abroad somewhere, Izzie looked tanned in a bikini top with her hair blowing in the breeze, the guy looked liked the typical smug loser Alex hated, perfect hair, physique, smile. Alex then instinctively glanced down at her hand fiddling with her coffee and he felt a sudden rush of relief as he noted her ring finger was bare, so she wasn't married or even engaged to the loser at least. He then felt mad with himself. He had no right to be jealous. And she had every right to move on. He had. Or at least he'd thought he had! He'd always told himself he'd be glad if Izzie was happy, but he hadn't anticipated just how much it would actually hurt when he found out she was now actually someone else's.

"So, you going to tell me what you're doing here then?" Izzie said, oblivious to what was running through his mind, as she fixed him with an intense stare as he fidgeted a little in front of her.

He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat some more, trying his hardest not to wince with the stabbing pain in his side as he said, "It's complicated, okay…" and he paused, it had felt too good to be around her again, to have someone actually look him in the eye and smile at him warmly, and he wanted to savour that for just a few more seconds before the little looks she gave him faded away and she just like everyone else hated him.

"You're in trouble aren't you?" She quickly said, not taking her eyes off him.

He didn't have to say anything then, he just looked at her, looked deep in to her eyes and their unspoken connection was more alive than ever. He'd never been very good at expressing himself in words, but when he was with her, his eyes told it all.

"Oh, Alex," she said quietly in almost a whisper. She looked away for a second and pressed her lips together. Before her tone changed a little and she said, "How did you find me?"

"My lawyer found out where you were working," he replied, realizing she was probably wondering why he hadn't just asked Cristina or Meredith for her email, 'well he would have done if they were still speaking to him!'

"Your lawyer," she repeated slowly and suddenly looking as though a light bulb was going off in her head she grinned, and her face softened as she looked down at the desk and started to laugh a little, shaking her head as she repeated knowingly, "_Your lawyer."_

Alex's face darkened, unable to hide the deep scowl forming as he looked on at her laughing. So this was all just a joke to her then, he thought, as he said gruffly, "Something funny?"

"I'm sorry, that was really inappropriate, I shouldn't laugh," she said as she looked back up at him. "It's just, I get it. You don't have to say anything else. I know exactly why you're here."

"You do?" Alex said a little confused, surely she couldn't have figured it out.

"Yes, Alex. You're being sued, right? You have a law suit filed against you?" She said quickly.

"Iz, listen it's complicated…" he said stopping her mid flow.

"Oh, Alex. I know it's easy for me to say this, but honestly it's not complicated."

"What?" He said screwing his face up a little as he sensed a fresh trickle of blood escaping from his nose.

"Here," she said as she handed him a tissue and went on to say "Listen, all the best surgeons have law suits filed against them at some point, I mean it hasn't happened to me yet, but when it does I'll be ready for it…."

"Iz," Alex said again, dabbing his nose as he desperately tried to interrupt her, to explain that she really didn't know what the hell she was talking about.

"No, Alex, listen. I mean I know there are exceptions, but getting sued usually means you're willing to take the risks, to do whatever it takes to get the very best results for your patients, even if that means breaking protocol, even if it means occasionally, very occasionally screwing up. Just look at Shepherd, look at how many law suits were filed against him and the man's a freakin genius."

"Iz," Alex said again a little wearily as she continued to ignore him as she said. "So, am I right in thinking this is the first time this has happened to you? You're out of your depth, so you're doing what you always do when you have a problem, rather than face up to it, you run away from it."

"Izzie," he said again, this time louder and with enough force to make her stop talking and look at him a little startled. She still knew exactly how to push all his buttons, how to make him so mad. 'Dumb bitch', she didn't have a clue, and she sure know a thing or two about running away from stuff, he thought angrily as he felt his fists screw up in to tight balls, trying his hardest to stop himself from yelling right in to her face. But, he knew he had no right to do that now. She wasn't his wife any more, he couldn't treat her like his verbal punch bag. Plus, he wasn't that same angry screwed up guy he'd been when she known him before, ironically he'd changed and grown up, become a man, he'd had to! He had to be the strong one now.

"Look, it's not that simple, okay," he eventually said a little more gently as he noticed her eyes still looking startled and taken aback at his out burst, before she said, "Alex, it is that simple, you get a good lawyer, you settle it. It's not the end of the world, it's not as though you've lost your medical license." And she sat back a little, seemingly unfazed again as she picked up her coffee to sip it.

"No, I guess not," he said his face reddening. That was the third lie he told her!

"What I'm still confused about though, Alex, is why you came here?" She said as a puzzled look crossed her face.

"I need to ask you a favour," he replied, as looking straight at him, she simply said, "Go on."

Alex didn't say anything for a moment as he had a flash back to the reason that he was here. _His smarmy lawyer Sam Campbell, had just posted his bail, and he was sat opposite him in some dingy little coffee house. Grinning like an idiot as he said "So, Karev, when were you planning on telling me that you're married?" Alex had instantly flinched as he scowled and said gruffly, "Leave her out of it". That was one conversation he really didn't want to have…Unfazed his lawyer had simply responded with, "What, are you mad? This my friend is your best shot out of this god damn freakin mess you're in, your wife…..your hot wife, I might add", and still grinning he had pulled a piece of paper out of his brief case and said, "Dr Isobel Stevens, attending surgeon at Stanford Clinic, San Jose. Won a gruelling battle with cancer and has now set up a charity to help other survivors of advanced cancers like her, it's all here…" he'd said as he'd waved the paper in front of Alex. "She's even written a book about it, you should check out her webpage and blog. Because you need to contact her and fast, you need to get her in your corner, she's your wife." Alex's scowl had deepened as he'd said with further irritation, "Ex-wife, we're divorced, I haven't spoken to her in years…..it didn't end well," Grimacing as he tried not to picture their parting conversation. _

"_All the better. If we can get the ex-wife that divorced you, that is the one person with a real legitimate reason to hate your guts, to stand up in front of a jury and state what a decent person you really are, we're laughing. How you cared for her during her darkest times, nursed her back to full health and then did everything you could for her. That 'my friend' is your best shot." Taking in his lawyers words, Alex had looked down at the table and shaken his head, it wasn't going to happen, he wasn't going to let her see him like this, not in a million years. Campbell had held his hands up then as he said, "Listen, Karev, I appreciate this is difficult for you, and honestly pal, the only place you need to be going right now is a hospital, get that face sorted out. So, I am willing to take a little trip down to Sunny California and go and speak to her for you, use my natural charm and boyish good looks to sweet talk her a little. Do a little damage control and so forth. It will be tough, but I…" Alex had then just snatched the paper out of his slimy lawyers hand and with defeat in his voice, he had simply said weakly,"I'll do it." The next thing he knew, he was in his car and driving away from Seattle as quickly as he possibly could._

"Alex, Alex," Izzie repeated snapping him back in to reality, forcing him to focus on the here and now. He shifted again in his chair, wincing with the pain that sitting for long periods of time gave him, as he said awkwardly, "My lawyer wants you to stand up in court and give a character reference for me. You know, say that I'm not a bad guy and stuff…he thinks you're my best shot." He sighed, realizing sooner or later he would have to tell her the whole truth, but for now he could still just let her go on thinking he was being sued by an angry patient.

"Your _lawyer _wants me to," she said as her eyes reflected a touch of hurt. Causing Alex to suddenly realize how cold and unfeeling that had sounded, just like a business deal, a favour from an old co-worker, and he felt like an ass. But he'd never been good with handling his emotions, so he did what he always did around her when he felt guilty, he lost his cool, as he snapped defensively. "So, will you do it then or not?"

Her eyes widened and matching his defensive tone she snapped, "What, will I stand up in court and say what a great guy you are? Say how awesome you are with your patients, how you really care about their well being, even if that means missing out on cool surgeries. Even if that means dropping your tough guy act…." She paused and her voice shook a little with emotion as she went on to say, "And will I say what a loving, attentive husband you were, how you really stepped up for me when I needed you. How you took care of me when I was sick and stopped at nothing to make sure I was ok, always putting my needs before your own.."

"Alright, alright, you made your point, I should have known you'd react like this," he said moodily, realizing at that moment, that it had been a huge mistake to come here. How could he ever have expected anything different, after the way things had ended between them?

But to his surprise, her brow wrinkled a little with confusion as deadly seriously she said softly with passion, "Why wouldn't I say those things, Alex? When they're the truth." Changing the game completely, and his deep brown eyes flooded with emotion as he caught hers straight on. They didn't need to say anything further, as they both realised, they were still there. The feelings they had always had for each other, they were still there and they always would be.

Izzie looked away and bit her lower lip as she said, "But I still don't get why you came all this way to ask _me_? I mean why not ask someone you work with every day? Meredith or Bailey?"

Alex felt his jaw clench, as a bead of seat broke on his forehead and a wave of nausea and dizziness hit him as he thought back to his last conversation with Meredith. She had come to the door, her eyes all apologetic and teary and he had known. She was a mother and wife she had responsibilities now and she had to put her family first. He didn't like it, but he understood it. He didn't particularly care about any of the others, Avery, Hunt, Bailey..but Meredith, that all but killed him when he realized he had lost her. Apart from Izzie, she had been the one person in his life that had truly accepted him and loved him for who he was.

Izzie was still looking at him expectantly and his sadness turned to anger as he gripped the side of the chair, the pain in his side excruciating as he tried to stand up, his palms clammy as he pushed himself in to a standing position. He just needed some air, he was at breaking point as he looked at her and said angrily for the last time, "Look, will you do it or not? Or am I just wasting my time here?" Holding on to the side of the chair, poised to walk out.

"I'll do it….. On one condition. You let me take a look at those injuries first. You're badly hurt, Alex. You need help," she said forcefully.

Alex opened his mouth to protest one last time, and then, _it all went black._


	3. Chapter 3

Alex woke in a strange sterile white room. Prizing his bleary eyes open he looked around groggily, just able to focus enough to make out that he was in a hospital room. He could tell that just by the low humming of the machines, the white washed walls and the faint smell of disinfectant, as well as the starchy feel of the bed sheets and the pulse oximeter attached to his right finger. He was no stranger to hospital environments having worked in one in some kind of capacity for most of his adult life. But this one, seemed somehow unfamiliar to him. It wasn't the usual colour scheme they had in Seattle and both the furniture and bathroom door looked different.

He slowly put his hand up to his left cheek to feel it had been sutured and looking down he saw he was wearing a hospital gown. He looked to the door confused, as he tried to piece together just what had happened and how in the hell he had wound up waking up in a hospital bed again? Out of the corner of his eye he saw a nurse stood over him, a nurse he had never seen before in his life, which confused him even more. She was checking his IV drip as she smiled at him and he said gruffly, "What happened? What am I doing here?" His mouth was dry and his voice was so hoarse it was almost a whisper. He reached out for a glass of water placed by his bed, straining a little to touch it, before the nurse quickly rushed to his side and handed it to him, helping him put it to his parched lips as he drank furiously. Water had never tasted so good in his life.

"Don't try and talk, the doctor will be along to see you shortly," the nurse said as she took the glass from him and placed it back by the side of his bed.

He stared at the door some more as the handle slowly turned and he braced himself, fully expecting someone familiar to burst through and explain what had gone on, Meredith or Bailey, Cristina even. But instead a youngish looking doctor in light green scrubs walked in, she was pretty with long dark hair and kind eyes and as she got closer it triggered something in Alex. Adrenaline filled him as he quickly tried to pull himself up a little, crying out with the immediate stab of pain that hit him, as the young doctor rushed to his side.

"Don't try and move," she said as she grabbed his arm and helped him lie back down, resting his head against the back of the bed. "I'm Dr Totten, I just need to carry out a few checks," she said as she picked up his chart from the bottom of the bed and scanned it.

Alex continued to look around in utter confusion at the strange medical staff buzzing around him, he had no idea what was going on, or who they were. "Look, what's going on?" He said again this time a little more fiercely.

"You're in hospital in San Jose. You collapsed, we had to rush you in to the ICU, you were in a pretty bad way, you had us all quite worried for a while, but you're going to be okay." The young doctor explained with a friendly smile as she turned to check his blood pressure. The nurse then leaned in to speak to the doctor, and in a low voice she said, "Dr Stevens asked to be paged as soon as he came around."

A look of confusion crossed the young doctor's face as she took the reading on the blood pressure machine, before turning to the nurse and saying, "What? Why?"

"I don't know, she just said to page her as soon as he was awake," the nurse replied shrugging.

"Okay, then," the doctor replied as she pulled her pager out of her pocket.

Alex's eyes narrowed, watching her every move and he shifted again as he said loudly, "I've got to get out of here, now."

"No, no, Mr ..er…Karev, I mean _Dr_ Karev" The young female doctor said, looking down at his chart to read his name, and Alex was sure he detected a look of surprise cross her face as she realized he was a fellow doctor. She'd probably just written him off as some loser he thought moodily as he glared at her.

He was just about to protest some more, before she stopped him and said, "Dr Stevens, will be down to see you very shortly, you can discuss how long you need to stay in with her. In the mean time we'll leave you to rest now, call us if you need anything else."Alex barely even noticed when they left the room as they walked out closing the door gently behind them.

'Dr Stevens', _Izzie!'_ and a light bulb went off in his head as it suddenly all came flooding back to him. All of it! Every damn thing! Why he had woken up in a strange hospital bed in a different state, why he had been with Izzie, and why he was in the biggest mess of his life, and he was suddenly hit with an overwhelming sensation of fear and dread all over again.

….

Moments later the door to Alex's room opened again and this time it was Izzie that walked in. He looked at her slightly speechless. In contrast to the glamorous dress and heels she had been wearing before, she was now in green scrubs with her blonde hair piled on top of her head, she looked a little tired and had less make up on than before, but she still took his breath away.

"How are you feeling?" She said as she rushed anxiously to the side of his bed, her big light brown eyes full of concern.

"I've been better," he replied sarcastically, as she picked up his chart to check his stats.

"You collapsed in my office. We had to rush you up here straight away, it got pretty serious, Alex. We thought you might have had a brain bleed. We had to call in Dr Lewis our best Nureo surgeon," she said seriously.

"Did I need?..." Alex said, suddenly sounding panicked as he looked down at the cannula tube attached to his hand.

"No," Izzie said, quickly shaking her head. "You were lucky, you didn't need surgery in the end, it wasn't as serious as we thought. You came round for a bit, you were pretty confused, you kept shouting the same thing over and over, something about it not being your fault and you hadn't done anything wrong." She paused and Alex put his hand up slowly to his temple as he swallowed and she continued, "You have some pretty bad concussion and a few broken ribs and severe bruising, but nothing that won't heal. You're resilient, Alex. You'll bounce back from this…. and be back to breaking hearts again in no time," she added with a shy smile, as he managed to force a small one back at her too.

"Your injuries are serious though, they wanted to get the police involved. You've been pretty badly beaten. _What happened, Alex?"_ She said even more seriously as her eyes met his full on and he panicked again as he quickly looked away from her, saying sullenly, "I don't want to talk about it and I don't want the police involved."

She nodded a little as she changed the subject slightly and said, "How much do you remember from before you passed out?" Putting the chart back down as she continued to look at him intensely.

"I remember we were talking, arguing maybe," he replied slowly and still a little moodily, he hated he was so out of control, that he was so dependent on someone else.

Izzie just raised her eyebrows, before she said, "We were in my office talking, you came down to see me from Seattle, we were discussing….."

"I know what we were discussing," Alex cut in loudly and bluntly, causing a startled look to flash over Izzie's face at the harshness of his reaction.

"Sorry," Alex said as he looked away again and said, "I just don't want to talk about it okay. All I want, is to get the hell out of here."

"We both know you can't go anywhere yet, you need to stay in at least one more night for observation." Izzie said sighing a little.

Alex glanced to the side of the bed to see the silver metal of his phone shining as it reflected in the light, from where it had been placed inside a clear plastic bag. He slid across to try and reach it, when he was suddenly hit with a sharp jolt of pain in his side. Causing Izzie to move closer to him her face full of fresh concern, as she met his eyes straight on again, holding her hands up to hover over him as she said, "Can I take a look?"

"Be my guest," Alex said sighing with defeat, as he lay back a little to let her do her job.

Slowly and carefully Izzie pulled up Alex's hospital gown, as she placed her finger tips lightly on his bruised abdomen. Alex instantly flinched at the sensation of her touch. He had dreamt of having her hands on him again, but never like this. They were both silent as she moved her skilled fingers across his skin. He looked up at the ceiling as she worked. Trying not to think about the many times her hands had been on him touching him in other ways, teasing him, pleasuring him, he'd been with many other women, but not one of them had even come close to being able to do the things that she could to him. Here now was different though, she was simply performing a straightforward exam that he himself could do in his sleep. They weren't making love, it was a clinical medical procedure he had to keep reminding himself, as he willed her to hurry up. His mind might be telling him that it was just a medical exam, but his body, that had a mind all of it's own, as he felt a subtle stirring in his groin. His body had always responded so eagerly to her touch and despite the time that had passed, this was no exception

She carried on working in silence, deep in concentration as she poked and prodded his stomach. "Breath in for me," she said quietly as Alex silently obliged. He barely even felt the pain in his side anymore, instead he felt like a horny teenager again as she leaned over him further. Her breasts were still perfect even in her scrub top, her thick blonde hair was still as hot as ever even tied loosely back, and her lips were as full and erotic looking as he'd always remembered them to be in his many fantasies as he couldn't help but visualise her naked again. He glanced at her face, and no matter how hard she tried to pretend she was focusing on examining him, he knew she felt it too. The sexual chemistry between them was more alive than ever. It was as though it had been building up for the past three years, and was now about to explode, and as much as Alex tried, he couldn't avoid the small bulge forming in his underpants. He felt his cheeks redden a little as it became more and more obvious. Izzie glanced sideways and quickly removed her hands, her cheeks turning pink too as she turned away to move over to the sink to wash her hands with her back to him.

Walking back over to him she broke the silence as she said a little awkwardly, "Well, I don't think there is any need for any immediate concern. It's probably just internal bruising, or pain resulting from your broken ribs, but I would like to schedule an MRI for you all the same. I'll have someone come and take you up for it in a little while. I'll leave you to rest for now. I'll come back and check on you later before I leave. Can I get you any more pain relief though?"

All Alex could do was simply shake his head, as he watched her turn and walk out of the room.

After she had gone he sank back in to the pillow. He was mad, so mad he wanted to punch something and he would have done if he had had the strength. He wanted to be mad at Izzie, she was organizing all these expensive tests for him, when had no possible way of paying for them, she was interfering, just like she always did, making him become open and vulnerable all over again. But he knew none of this was her fault, she was just doing her job and she still cared, he could see it in her eyes. She still cared about him more than anyone else in the world did. It was just a shame it was so bitter sweet.

* * *

Izzie sat back in the chair in her office, tapping her pen furiously on the edge of the notepad in front of her as she twirled a loose strand of her blonde hair around her finger, staring in to space, trying to make some kind of sense of the last twenty four hours of her life. She looked at her phone, there was a message from Josh. Their parting conversation that morning had felt like another life now. She'd been so mad at him for accepting the transfer to Washington, DC. Now she was barely giving that a second thought. She sighed, she should have known something like this would happen sooner or later. She of all people knew that just as you thought you had got your life in order, that you were on track to finally being happy and having a real shot at a nice, normal future, something or _someone _would come crashing in to it, or in this case, _back_ in to it! Changing the game completely, just like that.

Izzie had been certain she would never see or hear from Alex again. Since leaving Seattle she had exchanged a few emails with Cristina and in the earlier days Meredith. But since the plane crash and Cristina had started at Mayo, they seemed to have lost contact. Izzie thought about calling her to catch up from time to time, but she knew it would be a little weird now. Their emails had mainly been about medical stuff and Izzie knew Cristina wasn't a gossip, she wouldn't mention anything about her to Alex, or anyone else for that matter, unless they directly asked and Izzie felt certain Alex would never ask. His eyes had been so cold when he had asked her to leave for the final time, he'd looked almost as though he hated her and for years Izzie thought he had hated her, which had made her a little sad and also a tad bitter. But seeing him here again now, looking in to his eyes, she knew however mad he had been at her, he could never hate her.

She thought about Josh, the guy that had brought her back to life. He wasn't perfect, but he wasn't complicated either, at least not in the way Alex was. They were complete opposites. Josh was a cop for a start, not a doctor. They had met when Izzie had treated him for gunshot wounds. He was gorgeous, over 6ft with a perfect physique, blue eyes, dark blonde hair and a classically handsome face, he was polite and kind and came from a good family. But he was also pretty head strong and took his job way too seriously, they'd had some pretty intense arguments about it, he always seemed to be caught up in some kind of situation and now he had a promotion to work for the Feds, Izzie just wasn't sure if that was the life she wanted anymore

She thought about Alex again, even after all these years just the sight of him made her insides flutter uncontrollably. Alex was moody, rude, defensive, but he also had the biggest heart she had ever come across. Plus, he was sexy as hell and phenomenal in bed. He turned her on in ways no other man could, in ways that she could only dream of now. And seeing him again had sent shivers down her spine reminding her of that fact. But she just couldn't get her head around why he was here. She couldn't shake the feeling there was something he wasn't telling her. He'd turned up out of the blue, looking like he'd been beaten half to death, and his story just didn't stack up.

Izzie stared at her cell phone lying on the desk in front of her and with trembling fingers she picked it up, scrolling down to the number she vowed she would never call again. Her heart rate speeding up as she heard it ring at the other end and within seconds she heard a robotic female voice saying, "Welcome to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, how may I direct your call?" Izzie didn't say anything at first, wondering if she'd called the right number, before she did a double take. Sloan and Lexie had been killed, they must have re-named the hospital after them.

She took a deep breath as she said, "Hi, this is Dr Stevens from Stanford Clinic, California. Would you be able to connect me to Dr Karev please?" She winced a little as she finished speaking, she was terrible at lying.

There was a brief silence as she heard the sound of keys tapping from the other end of the phone, before the voice said, "Is that Dr Karev in Paediatrics?"

Izzie swallowed as she felt a rush of pride, she'd had no idea Alex was now in Ped's, but she wasn't at all surprised. For all his talk of being a Plastics God, Izzie had always had a strong suspicion that Alex would end up in Ped's. He connected with kids better than anyone she had ever met. "Yes, that's the one," she eventually muttered as the voice from the other end responded with, "I'll just connect you to the administrator in that department, please hold," Izzie felt her pulse race again as she heard the familiar mind numbing hold music, some things never changed.

"Paediatrics," she suddenly heard another female voice say and she breathed a silent sigh of relief that it wasn't anyone that had worked there when she'd still been there and would therefore remember her.

"Hi, I'm a doctor calling from Stanford Clinic, I need to speak with Dr Karev about an urgent case I'm working on here," Izzie said, realizing her voice was still shaking a little.

There was a small pause before the woman on the other end said slowly, "I'm sorry but Dr Karev no longer works here."

Izzie's mouth gaped wide open in shock as she said, "No, there must be some mistake, I spoke with him recently. Please check again?"

"I'm sorry, Mam, but there is no mistake. Dr Karev is no longer a practicing surgeon in this hospital."

Izzie bit her lip anxiously as she said, "Well, did he take a position at another hospital? Do you know how I can contact him? I'm kind of an old friend too."

"Listen, you didn't hear this from me okay, but Karev didn't leave of his own accord, there was an incident, some controversy. I'm sorry I can't say anymore than that. Dr Robbins is handling all his cases on a temporary basis, until his replacement arrives. If you want to put the details of your enquiry on an email to me, I'll see that she gets it."

"No. no, that won't be necessary," Izzie said as she hung up, feeling physically shaken. She was right to trust her gut, there was a lot more to this than Alex was letting on. She stood up and walked towards the door. She wanted answers and Alex was going to give them.

* * *

A/N - Thanks for reviews. I'm really enjoying writing this story. I know it's a little different to a lot of the stuff on here, so I would love to keep hearing what you think?


	4. Chapter 4

A/N - Thanks for reviews. Just a heads up this chapter is a little intense and angsty, so I hope you like it!

* * *

Alex looked up as Izzie slowly opened the door to his room, closing it quietly behind her. It was late, most of the medical staff had gone home for the evening, but she was still in her scrubs.

He didn't say anything as he watched her walk over to him and he looked at her eyes, there was something different about her. She looked more troubled than she had before, and as her eyes met his straight on he realized she looked almost suspicious or slightly accusing. Still without saying anything she sat down by the bed next to him. He wondered who she may have spoken to and his heart sank as he realized that the time had come, he had to start telling her the truth. All of it.

"So, you're just taking a break from work then?" She said methodically.

Alex shifted a little as he said quietly, "Yeah, I guess.."

Izzie felt her pulse race as she swallowed and said firmly. "Don't lie to me, Alex. I rang the hospital in Seattle, they said you no longer work there. So, what the hell is going on, Alex? I don't hear from you for years, I might as well be dead as far as you're concerned, then you just turn up out the blue, beaten half to death and ask me for my help , giving me some half baked story about falling and being sued. Before I find out you're _lying _to me."

"I'm not lying to you," Alex said as he felt a deep scowl forming on his face, he didn't like her tone, he hadn't lied about everything, he'd never said he was being sued, she'd just presumed that. Plus, she had no right to make him feel guilty about the past, he thought. Hadn't she been the one that had left _him_ in the first place after all? She was the one that had broken him, made him bitter, made him hate the world. Why the hell should he have contacted her? Just to have her new life shoved in his face. But as he looked at her, he softened slightly as he noticed she was trembling, her eyes were full of hurt. Despite how independent she had always tried to make out she was, he knew that she was vulnerable too. She just hid it well and at that moment he hated himself, if anything had happened to her and she had been alone because he couldn't swallow his pride enough to check she was okay, he would have never forgiven himself. She was just as much a victim too, if things had been different he felt certain they would still be happily married now and none of this crap would have happened to either of them.

"Alex, I just need to hear the truth," She eventually responded, her voice calmer and quieter.

Alex leaned his head back against the bed. This wasn't going to be easy. "It's a long story," he said sighing.

"I've got all night," Izzie quickly replied, flashing him a look of fierce determination that was all too familiar to him. He knew he had no choice, he had to start giving her answers.

He sighed again and staring in to space he said, "There was this kid I was treating. He'd been brought in with serious injuries. His old man was a real nasty piece of work, said the kid had fallen down the stairs, but it was obvious he'd had more than a hand in causing them." He stopped and grimaced as he remembered how he had felt when he had examined the boys injuries, realizing once again he'd have to patch up a frightened kid beaten half senseless by an alcoholic father, a scenario he was only too familiar with himself and one to which he knew he had no real way of proving.

Izzie remained silent her eyes focused intently on Alex's face as he carried on explaining, "The kid was mouthy though, he had a response for everything, he knew exactly how to push my buttons, get me fired up. Kind of reminded me a little of how I was at that age. Anyway, I wasn't exactly on my game that day. I was going through a few 'personal' problems. So I lost it with him, I yelled at him, but I swear nothing else. I then stepped outside for ten minutes to cool down. When I returned, the kids lying on the floor, says I shook him violently and he fell off the bed, hitting his head causing some of his bruising and injuries. Blatantly his old man had put him up to it, but no matter how much I deny it, it's my word against his. "

Izzie opened her mouth then to respond as she said, "But surely no-one believed him?"

Alex looked away as he remembered only too well how supportive everyone had tried to be at first, Avery, Hunt, Robbins. "Yeah, I mean it was obvious that the kid's father had it in for me. We didn't see eye to eye from the start." Alex said angrily as he thought how putting his kid up to something like that to try and make a few bucks was exactly the kind of stunt his own father would have pulled. Under normal circumstances Alex would have just walked away, he had learnt that confrontation with scum like that was never worth it. But he'd been angry, he been going through a rough patch with Jo and all the other crap that had been going on and he had taken it out on the patient's father, threatening to call the police on him. In hindsight that had been a mistake, a huge mistake. If he'd just kept his mouth shut, maybe he wouldn't be in half as much trouble now.

He looked back at Izzie as he said, "But, there were procedures to be followed of course, a kid making an accusation like that has to be taken seriously."

Izzie nodded, she worked in a hospital too, she knew the score. But as she looked at Alex's face she suddenly started to feel very uneasy, there was more to this, she thought, as she remained silent and let him carry on talking.

"The police were called, there was an investigation and I had to be suspended." Alex said as he thought back to that day, how terrible Avery had looked when he had called Alex in to his office. As head of the hospital board, Jackson's hands were tied, he had no choice but to take the appropriate action, there was no cover up, blackmailing or bending of rules this time, not when injured kids were concerned and the hospitals reputation was at stake.

"But surely, there were witnesses. I mean who were you working with? Nurses? Interns?" Izzie said puzzled.

This part was particularly hard for Alex as he said, "The intern that was on my service wasn't around, we'd had a disagreement and I'd sent her to get some test results. She couldn't cover my back, she didn't see anything." Alex replied as he swallowed, he knew he couldn't blame Jo for that part.

"But surely?" Izzie said her eyes narrowing as she looked deep in thought and Alex knew exactly what she was thinking, no matter what happened, you always had your fellow co-worker's back.

"It was complicated, the intern we…"

"You slept with her," Izzie cut in, rolling her eyes.

"Actually, we were together," Alex said as he looked at his ex-wife closely to see a very distinct look of hurt flash across her face. "Oh," was all she could mumble faintly in response. Alex wanted to tell her then that it had been a mistake that he had been lonely, he'd wanted to look out for Jo, he'd wanted to be in love with her, to be happy for a change. But no matter how much he'd cared for her and loved her in his own way, he knew he could never love Jo the same way he'd loved Izzie.

Instead though Alex just said, "So, when the police interviewed her that was the first thing they picked up."

"Okay, but surely…"Izzie said confused.

"Yeah, it should have all been sorted out, made to go away somehow. The thing is, it wasn't that simple. I was already under investigation by the police." Alex said slowly. "For attempted murder."

"_What!"_ Izzie said as her mouth flew open. Alex knew she wouldn't have seen that one coming, her eyes displaying visible signs of complete shock. It wasn't just a medical malpractice law suit he was facing. It was far, far more serious.

Alex paused, letting it sink in for her. He knew if he had any chance of keeping her on his side still, he needed to tell her everything, starting right at the beginning. So he composed himself and said, "The intern that I was dating, Jo. Well, before we got together she was seeing this other guy, a resident at the hospital, Myers. He was bad news, he didn't treat her well… Anyway, one night Jo turns up at my place with a black eye. So, I go off to have a little talk man to man to Myers. Only thing is when I find him, the dudes lying face down unconscious in a pool of blood. So, I call 911, rush him to the hospital. But by this time my DNA is all over him, his blood is all over me. Shepherd did his best to save him and for a while we really thought he had a shot at pulling through. Myers came round from the anaesthetic and he seemed fine. But it was a pretty crazy night, there was a severe weather incident and everyone got distracted with the storm and then the power going and he had a major relapse, he's been in a coma ever since. It doesn't look like he's going to make it. That's when the cops came round asking questions, they didn't have enough to charge me with then and there, but they're building a case against me. They're convinced I did it to him."

Izzie's hand flew up to her mouth again and she didn't say anything, but the look on her face was an exact replica of Meredith's the very night this had all kicked off. The night he had brought Myers in. Both Meredith then and Izzie now were thinking the same thing, they knew that whether Alex did it or not, he had a reputation as the kind of guy that lost his cool now and again, that liked to settle things with his fists and that alone would stand against him, regardless of the physical evidence mounting up against him too. Alex then thought back to how everyone had rallied around him at first, offering their support, all his old friends and co-workers, he couldn't have asked for more. Although he knew that one or two of them had secretly always doubted his innocence.

There was an uncomfortable silence and Alex willed Izzie to say something, yell at him again, any slight indication of what she was thinking. But her beautiful features gave nothing away as she simply said. "So, what I don't get, is if you didn't do it, Alex. Then who did?"

Alex felt his insides churn uncontrollably, this was the hard part. As he slowly worked himself up to say, "She didn't mean to."

"She?" Izzie replied in confusion.

"She lost control, she didn't mean to hurt him. They were fighting and it triggered a bad memory, she lost it…."

"Jo," Izzie said slowly, "_She did it?"_

"She's not a bad person, okay, she had a tough life, she's a victim too." Alex said as he realized that still even now he was jumping to her defence.

"So, you just get her to tell the police then, explain what happened, let her face the consequences, Alex. You can't let this screw up your whole career." Izzie replied firmly.

Alex shook his head, typical Izzie, trying to solve everyone's problems, thinking she knew best. "Yeah well that won't work, because I already told her to deny everything to the cops. I thought I'd made sure that I'd protected her." Alex said, and he had honestly thought he had been doing the right thing at the time. He'd still been on a high from them finally getting together. He'd known Jo had issues, but he'd naively thought he could change her, just like Izzie had changed him all that time ago when they'd been interns and he'd still been so screwed up. He'd thought, with Jo he could be happy for once.

Looking back he still couldn't quite believe he could have been so stupid. He had been so relieved when he'd thought he'd got her off the hook. Little did he know he'd just dropped himself right in it with the police in the process. The smarmy detective in charge had had it in for Alex right from the start and the evidence against him was staggering. The amount of witnesses that knew he'd had it in for Myers for months, that he'd been jealous of the guy, and had also taken no time at all to jump in on his girl. The same girl that had clearly turned up for work with a black eye after a fight with her boyfriend, Alex's arch enemy. You couldn't have made it up, the motives for Alex putting the guy in a coma were right there in black and white. It was a classic.

"So, she goes to the cops tells them she messed up. Jesus, Alex, it's her neck on the line or yours. You worked your ass off to get where you are today. You going to screw all that up over an intern? What happened to you? What happened to the guy that stopped at nothing to get to the top? That was always so on top of his game." Izzie said passionately.

Alex felt his cheeks redden, as he thought, that guy no longer existed thanks to her. Thanks to Izzie, he now had a fuckin heart, a soul. And he couldn't let Jo ruin her life over this. She didn't deserve that

"You really think they'd believe her now anyway?" He said loudly to Izzie, his voice shaking slightly. The truth being that he and Jo had actually had this conversation, over and over. What would happen if Myers didn't make it? Who would go down? It had never ended well. She didn't want him to take the blame, he couldn't let her take it.

"So, when the guy wakes up, can't you get him to tell the cops you didn't do anything?" Izzie said quickly.

"No, Little Miss Fix it, I can't," Alex snapped back, he knew Izzie meant well but he was tired of going over the same old stuff he had already covered with both his lawyer, and in the beginning Meredith, Cristina and Jo too. "Right before Myers went in to the coma, we had a little chat. I kind of told him if he pressed charges against Jo, I'd make things very difficult for him."

"You blackmailed him?" Izzie said in slight disgust, but not surprise.

"I didn't blackmail him exactly. I just pointed out a few things. But it was enough to scare him in to telling the cops Jo was in the clear….Plus, a nurse, one that really had it in for me, overheard _some_ of the conversation, she told the cops I'd been threatening Myers not to say anything. She only heard half the conversation. But it was enough to fire up the cops even more."

"Oh, Alex," Izzie said as her hand flew up to her mouth again and he swore he saw her eyes start to well up a little.

He didn't say anything for a moment, just studied her face, he had no real idea what she was thinking still as she suddenly blurted out, "But all this doesn't explain, Alex, how you got your injuries. How you ended up in jail?"

Alex knew this next part was going to be the hardest of all, as he said quietly, "She didn't mean it, we were arguing, she was upset. I'd just been suspended after the kid had made the accusations and the cops had been called on me again, when I was already under suspicion of causing Myer's injuries. So, I wasn't thinking straight, I blamed her. It got ugly, she came at me, I flung her back and then…"

Alex could never blame Jo, she had issues, she had lost control again, but he still wasn't quite sure who the victim was. He kept flipping between being ashamed that he'd just stood there and had his ass kicked by a girl and mad that she could have done this again. Mad that one by one all his friends had slowly lost respect for him, that his career was in tatters. That little had he known the police already had him under constant surveillance by this point anyway, waiting for him to trip up, to give them a reason to arrest him, after his suspension from work.

As soon as Jo had set foot in the hospital with a bruised face again, the cops were leading him away from his front door in handcuffs. The fancy lawyer Avery had provided him with originally was suddenly out of his price range now he was no longer an employee of the hosptial, and he had to make do with the jackass that was representing him now.

He suddenly felt uneasy, wondering if Izzie would even buy his story as she remained silent. He realized it seemed a little unbelievable, even some of his closest friends in Seattle had doubted him. But Izzie just nodded as she said, "I see." Alex didn't need to spell it out. Izzie hadn't grown up in the best of environments, that plus all the time she had spent in ER's, meant she had witnessed first hand the damage a woman could do when pushed to breaking point.

As his story all came tumbling out, Alex suddenly felt full of emotion as shaking slightly he turned to Izzie and said, "But I didn't do it, Iz. Any of it."

"I know," she said with unfaltering certainty as she reached for his hand, her lower lip quivering, with tears silently sliding down her cheeks as she thought just how could this be happening to him, as she repeated softly, "I know."

Alex realised he had known all along, that Izzie would never think he would intentionally hurt anyone, and as he looked at her tear stained face he realized she was the first person to really say that to him, to give him her unquestionable support, as he quickly began to feel his own eyes start to stir with emotion too.

"But, we can make it go away, Alex. There has to be a way, the kid and his father, surely they're just after money.."

"Five hundred dollars," Alex said robotically, staring in to space.

"I can get it," Izzie quickly said, wiping her eyes with the back of her free hand, her other one still gripping Alex's tightly.

"I don't want your money, Iz." Alex said as he added, "Besides, I wouldn't give the scumbag the satisfaction."

"Well, we'll find another way then. Because there is a way, Alex. There is _no way_ you are going down for this, any of this." She said defiantly and just like that she had aroused the fighter instinct in him again and made him remember he was a good man and none of this was his fault, and suddenly with their fingers still locked together, it was as though they both felt an uncontrollable pull towards each other. Within seconds her arms were around him, hugging him, comforting him, holding him tight against her chest.

As he breathed in her scent, Alex felt for the first time that he was no longer alone in all this mess, as he realized she still loved him, _she'd never stopped._

* * *

A/N - This chapter was pretty heavy, BUT, this is the last chapter with a lot of angst in it. The tone of the story is about to change, and there are good times ahead for Alex. So please keep reading! :)


	5. Chapter 5

A/N - Thanks so much for reviews. I'm so pleased people like this story, it means a lot to hear what you think.

* * *

Alex stared up at the dimly lit television screen in front of him, the silent images all starting to blur together. He tried to concentrate on the moving pictures, but his eyes kept wandering back to the peaceful face of his beautiful ex-wife lying asleep on the edge of the starchy white sheets of the hospital bed next to him.

Her head was rested on her folded arms on the side of his bed, from where she was still sat in the chair next to it. Her thick blond hair was spilling out messily around her, the ends lightly tickling his forearm as her eyelids flickered a little and her mouth twitched slightly. It had been a very long time since they had fallen asleep together. But Alex remembered like it was only yesterday, how she'd always managed to be the one to fall asleep first, sometimes it had taken him literally hours to follow, but it had never really bothered him. Most of the time he just settled for staring at her contently, while she slept next to him, always in slight amazement at how beautiful she was, and how at last she was finally his.

She wasn't his now though, he thought, as he realized he needed to wake her. He knew only too well what it felt like to fall asleep on the job, to wake up suddenly with a stiff neck. To then have to function in the hospital, under pressure in life and death situations with teams of people counting on you when you couldn't think properly because you'd not had a proper rest. He remembered too out of their original intern group, Izzie had always been the one that had needed the most sleep, that had experienced the worst of Bailey's wrath when she had come in tired and late for rounds.

He glanced at his phone to see it was past 3am. They had stayed up talking for hours after he had confessed to her all that had happened to him over the past few months. And together they had gone over and over every tiny detail, every single aspect of what had happened and how they could go about clearing his name, getting his medical license revoked, getting his career back on track and getting his life in check. But no matter how fiercely determined and positive Izzie had tried to be, by the end even her unbreakable resolve was starting to crumble too.

The situation was pretty hopeless. Whichever way they had looked at it. Alex had been stitched up. There was too much evidence against him. The whole hospital knew he had had it in for Jason Myers, that he had been jealous of his relationship with Jo for months. It was also common knowledge Alex had a fiery relationship with Jo at times too, even fierier than his marriage to Izzie. He and Jo had had one or two very public brawls and then a couple of even worse ones that Cristina and Hunt had witnessed back at his house. But he'd never intentionally laid a finger on her, he'd never hurt her, no matter how it appeared now, he was nothing like his father. He did miss Jo too, he missed the good times, when they had just been friends, she was one of the kindest, most loyal girls he had ever met. But, just like him she was a lost soul, damaged by a dark past, and he only wished he had been able to help her more.

But even though he knew the truth, the worst thing of all for Alex had been the doubt in his friends eyes, that maybe, just maybe, he had gone one step too far, and they feared that maybe a leopard never truly changed its spots and he really was just the total asshole everyone had written him off to be at the beginning. That he had lost his cool with the troublesome patient and he had decided to teach Jason Myers a lesson, and that his last fight with Jo had got too physical. Everyone had doubted him, everyone except _Izzie_ that was. The one person in his heart he had always known he could count on no matter what, and despite being nearly a decade older now, Alex suddenly felt his was right back to where he had started, when he had first laid eyes on Isobel Stevens.

"Iz, Iz…wake up," he said softly as he gently shook her arm.

"Mmm.." Izzie said as she stirred slightly before lifting her head up a little, her hair sticking out in all directions as she rubbed her tired eyes and said. "What time is it?"

"It's past three," Alex replied, the room eerily silent in the dead of the night.

"What? I must have dozed off," she said sleepily, yawning and stretching her arms out. Glancing at her phone, making Alex felt a touch nauseas and jealous, he didn't want to think about who or what might be waiting for her at home.

"Yeah, I think we both did," Alex said as he watched her tie her hair up in to a loose ponytail as she stood up, pulling her pager out of her pocket.

"I've got to get out of here, I'm due back in five hours," she said as she walked towards the door, looking back at him as she said motherly, "You should get some more rest too. I'll come back in the morning."

"Right," he said as he smiled back at her, feeling a strange sense of comfort that she had taken control again. Even though they had gone around in circles the night before, just the fact that it now seemed as though they were in it together, already made him feel significantly better.

* * *

To his surprise Alex dozed off pretty quickly after Izzie had left and he woke to a nurse shaking him awake, "Sorry, I need to check your stats," she said kindly.

Alex just scowled, he wasn't the best patient anyway, let alone when he was woken up. "So, can I get out of here today then?" He said gruffly as the nurse checked his temperature.

"You'll have to wait for Dr Stevens. She has been called in to surgery, but when she is out, she can come and discharge you," the nurse replied.

Alex's face darkened a little, he really needed to get out of the hospital. "Or, I could see if one of her interns is available to see you straight away," the nurse said a little uneasily picking up on Alex's tense vibes.

"Nah, I'll wait," Alex mumbled. He didn't want to leave without an excuse to see Izzie again and besides he really didn't have anywhere to go to anyway.

* * *

Later on in to the afternoon, Alex was showered, fully dressed and sat on the bed flicking through TV channels robotically, when Izzie finally waltzed in breezily, grinning at him. In contrast to how frazzled and broken she had looked when he had last seen her leaving his room in the middle of the night. She now looked happy, bright and alert. She had a fresh pair of scrubs on and her long blonde hair was tied neatly on top of her head with a pen sticking out of it, whilst the front section fell over her eyes framing them, just like she'd always worn it as an intern.

"Hey," she said looking at him through her long eye lashes, as she moved closer towards him, biting her lip, as her smile widened further.

"What you looking so pleased with yourself for?" Alex replied, his eyes narrowing with suspicion. It didn't matter that technically they were practically strangers now, he felt as familiar around her as he had when they had been in the heat of their relationship and he knew from the look on her face she was dying to tell him something.

"Because, I, have figured out a way to get you off everything, a way for you to get your life back all of it." She replied still grinning at him excitedly.

"Iz, you can't help me," Alex said shaking his head a little wearily.

"No, but I know a man that can," Izzie replied brightly.

Alex didn't say anything at first, he was still confused as he muttered, "What?"

"My _father_," Izzie said boldly.

Alex was completely lost for words for a second. That had honestly been the last thing he had been expecting her to say. Izzie had never once mentioned her father to him, he had known she had grown up on a trailer park with her Mom, he had just presumed her father hadn't been on the scene. He hadn't pressed her on it, because there had been plenty of stuff from his past that he'd never wanted to talk about, and he'd presumed that it was the same for her.

"You want to take a little walk outside with me?" Izzie said.

"You gonna discharge me then?" Alex replied.

"Nope, not until you've heard what I've got to say first," Izzie said grinning some more.

…..

Stepping outside in to the hospital grounds Alex was hit with a powerful boost of bright sunshine, dazzling him slightly as he walked alongside Izzie, to sit on a bench under a big oak tree.

Staring directly in front of her, her light blonde hair blowing gently in the warm breeze she said, "I never really told you much about my father, because up until a few years ago, he hadn't been in my life for a very long time."

Alex didn't say anything, he just looked at her in anticipation waiting for her to continue.

She pressed her lips together and said, "He was married when my Mother fell pregnant with me. She used to work for him, in one of his offices. He was kind of a big deal back in Chehalis, in fact he owned half the town. But he only viewed my Mom as one of his cheap flings. When she fell pregnant he tried to pay her off. He had a wife and kids, it wouldn't have looked good for him if it had got out."

She stopped talking for a moment, looking deep in thought, before she continued, "But, he wasn't a bad man, he did care about my Mom in his own way, I see that now, and for a while when I was first born he used to stop by our trailer in secret every weekend. He used to bring me presents, read me stories and stuff. He knew I loved science, so he used to buy me the best text books and for the first twelve years of my life I worshipped him. But then two days after my twelfth birthday he left. He moved his family to California and it broke my heart. I refused to speak to him again, he tried for a bit, then he just gave up too. His business empire was growing, he was becoming more rich and powerful and I despised him even more. He offered to pay for my education, but I refused of course. I wanted to make it on my own. I knew I needed to prove that to myself."

Alex continued to look at his ex-wife intensely as she spoke and he realized there was still a lot about her that he didn't know. That he'd not given himself the chance to know.

Izzie twisted her hands together as she turned to look Alex directly in the eye and said, "But when I got sick, really sick, when I returned home the last time and I'd given up all hope, after we…" She trailed off a little sounding sad, and Alex felt a deep pang in his chest too, as he remembered how painful it had been the day he had sent her off by herself with her scan results that final time. Blinded by the crushing pain she had caused him by leaving him when she had first been fired, at the time he couldn't bring himself to forgive her, a decision he had spent the next three years of his life deeply regretting, now more than ever. After she had gone, he hadn't wanted to think about what could have happened to her next, he had just hoped in his heart that somehow she'd be okay, that there would been someone else to look out for her, when he hadn't been able to. He wanted to say something to her along those lines now, but somehow he just couldn't find the words as he remained silent and allowed her to go on with her story.

"My Mom didn't know what to do with me then, she was so worried, so she contacted my Father and I can honestly say he was great. He really came through for me. Ironically he turned up the very day I got the divorce papers back from you, the day my heart felt as though it had broken in two." She paused again as they were both lost for words for a moment, both thinking back to the unbearable pain losing each other had caused them.

"I refused to see him at first," Izzie carried on, "But he was persistent he wouldn't go away and for that I am truly grateful. If he hadn't been there for me, I have no idea where I would be now." She said in almost a whisper as she added, "I was still pretty sick despite my mets shrinking and he arranged for me to have the best possible treatment money could buy, he took care of everything, all my medical bills, and then when I was well enough it was him that persuaded me to carry on practicing medicine, to follow my dreams and make it as a surgeon."

Alex opened his mouth to respond for the first time as he said, "I don't understand?"

"How do you think I managed to land such a good position here? Did you really think it was on my merits alone? I left Seattle pretty much unemployable, you know that?" Izzie said bitterly. She couldn't help feeling that way, she had tried not to blame Alex for anything, she realized now that anything he had done before she had been fired, had been acted on nothing but one hundred per cent love for her. Shepherd too, had acted out of only concern for her as her friend, and he'd even offered to get her her job back, when he was chief. Webber, on the other hand she couldn't be so forgiving towards, he had ignored her DNR, forgotten she had put every last cent of her savings and Denny's money in to the clinic and not only fired her ass, but landed her with $250,000 worth of debt too. It wasn't his fault her marriage had broken down, that was all on her, but he had certainly been the catalyst.

"My father sits on the boards of a lot of places. He has contacts we could only dream of," Izzie said slowly explaining further to Alex. She certainly wasn't in any way proud of how she had got back on her feet. But the way she saw it, what choice had she really had? It took her a while to let him back in, but if it hadn't been for her father, she knew she would most probably be dead now. She had remembered what he had said to her, that after everything she had been through her in her life, 'to let him be there for her this time,' and for once she had dropped her pride and excepted help, just like she hoped with all her heart that Alex would now too.

"Things are still a little strained with my Father, but I'm slowly starting to build a relationship with him again and my other brothers and sister here too," Izzie added, smiling a little as she thought how nice it was to actually be part of a big family for once.

Alex slowly nodded as he tried to process what she was saying, he was a little shocked to say the least. That she had this whole other life that he had no idea about. He was just about to open his mouth to finally say something when she pressed a business card in to his hand. He looked down at it as she said, "My Father's lawyer."

"Iz," Alex said as he slowly started to realize where this was going.

"Just listen, Alex. I spoke to my father this morning. I told him everything and he really thinks they can make it go away, all of it." She said excitedly.

"Izzie," he just said again, as he smiled a little, he really wasn't comfortable with this in any way.

"Alex, you're in trouble right, big trouble. You don't need some crappy small town lawyer representing you. You need the best. Like I said my Father has contacts we couldn't possibly imagine. He can help you. Just call his lawyer, that's all you have to do, call him. Then take if from there. Let them handle this. You haven't done anything wrong let them prove that."

"No, Izzie, I can't," he said firmly as he pushed the card back in to her hand. This was a joke, he couldn't accept help from his ex wife's father who up until five minutes ago he had no idea even existed.

"You tell your father who I am then?" He said quickly, before she had the chance to protest anymore as he wondered whether Izzie's Father would be so keen to help him if he knew he was his daughter's ex-husband. The husband that hadn't been willing to give her a second chance when she'd needed him the most. The husband that had turned his back on her, given up on her. Alex knew he had his reasons for doing that, but he also knew even though he wasn't a father himself, if a man had done that to his younger sister, he certainly wouldn't have taken too kindly to it.

"He knows everything," Izzie replied firmly, passing him back the card.

Alex looked over at the determined face of his beautiful ex wife, her big expressive soft brown eyes flickering across his face, and he knew that from the way she was looking at him right now, there was simply no way he wouldn't do just about _anything_ she asked him, as he just said, "So, you going to discharge me then or what?"

"I'll discharge you right after you call the lawyer," Izzie said as she stood up, adding, "I've got to get back to work, but I'll be finished in an hour or so, we'll talk again then." Leaving Alex wiping a small bead of sweat away from his forehead as he sat alone staring after her in amazement.

* * *

Izzie had changed in to skinny jeans, wedge heels and a loosely fitted white top, with designer sunglasses perched on top of her long straight blond hair now down and falling around her shoulders, as she walked back in to Alex's hospital room, his discharge paper work clutched tightly in her hand,

"So?" she said, raising her eyebrows as he looked up at her, his jaw still dropping slightly as he took in the sight of her.

Looking back at him, Izzie couldn't help but think how despite the sutures and bruising he still looked so handsome, and her heart fluttered a little at the slight vulnerability in his eyes.

"I'm meeting him tomorrow," was all Alex could reply.

"Excellent," Izzie said breaking in to a wide smile, fighting the urge to fling her arms around his neck and hug him, as she added, "You won't regret it."

"Do I get to go now?" he said quickly.

"Oh, yeah," Izzie replied pulling the paper work out. "So, you know I'm technically meant to take a discharge address? Check there is someone here to drive you home and take care of you?" Izzie said a little concerned, despite the familiarity between them she knew it would still be slightly irresponsible given Alex's condition to just let him leave alone. Plus, she cared, a lot.

"So, you got somewhere to go?" she said a little cautiously

"Err…I'm just going to check in to a motel or something," Alex lied, thinking how he would probably just end up crashing in the back of his car again.

"You can come home with me?" Izzie said quickly.

"Iz, no..I don't think…" Alex replied.

"Alex, we're both adults, I live five minutes away, I have plenty of room and I really think you could do with a square meal, "Izzie said boldly as she realized she was actually shaking slightly as she added, "I'm an awesome cook, remember?"

Alex knew that he should protest some more, that it would be a bad idea, but there was just something about the woman standing in front of him that made him go so weak at the knees, that made him loose all self control as he said slowly, "Okay, if you're sure..

* * *

A/N - I felt we needed some more back ground on Izzie's story, so I hope you liked this chapter. Oh and next chapter thing start to really heat up ;)


	6. Chapter 6

A/N - This wasn't originally intended to be a chapter on it's own, but once I had a little time to start writing it today, it just kind of came from no-where - (as can happen sometimes) and I felt like it needed a little of Izzie's POV. As always any feedback appreciated and the second part to this chapter will be up very soon :)

* * *

Izzie quickly slid behind the desk at the busy nurse's station, scribbling up her notes on the minor incident she had just been called in to. An intern couldn't get a line in to a patient, it was no big deal, but it had delayed Izzie leaving for the evening with Alex. Who she presumed would be loitering around somewhere aloofly, waiting for her, after she had insisted he came home with her for the evening.

Izzie set her pen down for a second as she suddenly contemplated what she had done, she had invited her ex-husband back to her place for the night. In reality, was that really such a good idea? Probably not, but what the hell, she thought. As much as he would hate to admit it, right now Alex needed her. There was no way she would turn her back on him and despite how stubborn he was, she knew she could be more stubborn, that was one of the reasons their marriage had always been so intense. Now, years later, even after everything that had happened, Izzie knew she would never stop caring about him, never. She might be as confused as hell right now, but that was one thing she was very certain of.

"Delivery for you, Dr Stevens," Izzie suddenly heard a female voice say playfully. She looked up to see her friend and co-worker Carrie, thrusting a huge bouquet of flowers in to her arms. Glancing down at the card, Izzie saw they were from Josh. Hitting her with a pang of guilt, in the past twenty four hours she had seemingly forgotten all about their parting conversation, about her current dilemma with him. He was trying and she knew he loved her, he deserved more.

"So, what's he done now?" Carrie said with an amused smile. Carrie was Izzie's closest friend in San Jose. They had clicked immediately, like Izzie she was both gorgeous and super smart, as well as being slightly scary at times and she kind of reminded Izzie a little of a young Bailey, with Cristina's wit and Meredith's big heart.

Despite her friendships with Meredith, Cristina and George, looking back Izzie had never truly felt as though she had fitted in back in Seattle, or that apart from Alex anyone really 'got her'. Over the years there, she had gained a reputation she had never quite managed to shake off. She was the crazy chick that cut the LVAD wire, then the home wrecker, then the girl that everyone had pitied, the girl that had cancer, that everyone thought would die.

But here in California with Carrie and her other friends it was like a new beginning for Izzie, she could be herself again and it felt great, she knew they would never judge or pity her. Still clutching Josh's note she looked back at her friend now, and said. "Nothing really, he's taken the transfer, that's all,"

"Are we pleased about that?" Carrie replied.

"I don't know," Izzie said honestly.

"Well, you know as much as I love Josh, if he takes you half way across the country, I'll kick his ass," Carrie teased as Izze tucked the card back in to the flowers and laid them down on the desk beside her as she turned her attention back to finishing off the chart, sensing her friend still lingering, poised to say something further.

"So, anyway, Iz, what's with the patient in room five? The late night emergency, Karev is it?" Carrie said her eyes suddenly burning with a new kind of curiosity as they fixed on Izzie intensely.

Izzie pretended she hadn't heard her at first as she stared in to the chart deep in concentration as Carrie persisted, "You've been in his room pretty much the whole time he's been here. He wasn't even assigned to you as your patient at first, and from what I hear from the nurses and interns, the guys a complete jerk, a real rude pretentious asshole. So, what's going on? Who is he to you? Because I have to tell you, people are starting to talk, Iz."

Izzie flinched, seeing red, no matter what she would always be fiercely defensive of Alex and she also knew there was no way she could lie to her best friend as she tilted her head and looked her straight in the eye, saying firmly, "He's not a jerk, okay. He's having a hard time, but he's not a bad guy."

"Okay, but why do you care so much?" Carrie replied, her eyes still very alert and inquisitive.

"Because…because, he's my ex- husband," Izzie said boldly, biting her lip a little as she sensed her pulse racing. She knew for sure Carrie wouldn't have seen that one coming.

"W- what? I thought your ex-husband lived in Seattle?" her friend replied, her mouth open, visibly shocked.

"He does," Izze replied, remaining tight lipped as she snapped the patient chart in front of her shut and picked up her designer sunglasses from where she had placed them down next to the flowers, pushing them up in to her blond hair as she looked away. As much as she loved Carrie, she really didn't want to get in to a conversation with any of her new friends and co-workers about Alex.

"Then what the hell is he doing here?" Carrie said bluntly resting one hand on her hip as she said, "Because if I'm not mistaken, it clearly says in his patient chart that his discharge address also happened to be your house."

Izzie shrugged uncomfortably, "He's staying with me for a night or so, until he makes a full recovery and gets back on his feet, what's the big deal? And why are you looking in his patient chart anyway?" She replied a little irritated, although she really hadn't expected anything less from her friend as she caught the look of sheer disapproval cross the other doctor's face. Carrie was sharp and when it came to people that she cared about she was also immensely loyal and passionate. Izzie knew she was lucky to have her.

"This is the same guy that you said you never wanted to see again, the guy that you said hurt you like no-one else. Have you forgotten how many tequila shots we went through, whilst you reminded me of that fact? And now that's all just forgotten and you're taking him home with you." Carrie said pouting, her eye brows arched, her expression so like Baileys it was spooky.

Izzie pressed her lips together and looked away again, ignoring her friend, as she realized just how bitter she had still been when she had first arrived in California. She'd rung Alex repeatedly from her Mom's trailer to try and talk when she'd first left Seattle after their final parting conversation. She'd left countless messages on his phone, at the hospital, even with Meredith. She'd got nothing back, so as a last resort she'd sent him divorce papers in the vague hope that would make him contact her, would make him realize that he couldn't lose her. But all she had got in return was his signature, written plainly in jet black ink, and that had been all the proof Izzie had needed that he really didn't want her to ever come back in to his life. For a long time after that she had been hurt, but also mad, that he could have been so cruel and given up on her so quickly, when she was still battling her cancer, when she clearly wasn't in her right mind. Not only had he told her he had slept with someone else, he had also waited for her to get the only positive news she'd had in months, her scan results back, before really sticking the knife in and shattering her heart. Yes, she could understand that he felt the need to punish her, to make her pay for taking off the way she did, she knew she had hurt him probably worse than anyone had ever hurt him before in his life, but that had never been her intention, if he'd only let her explain that. At the end of the day, he was Alex though and communication and expression of feeling had never been his strong point, lashing out and hurting the people he cared about the most, came far easier to him. Still, Izzie had hoped with all her heart that his love and need for her would eventually outshine all of that. Sadly it never did.

After Izzie had found about the shootings from Cristina, not Alex, and after she had made absolutely certain he was okay. She had slowly started to see things differently, she'd realized she had to move on, stop being so bitter. Alex wanted to move on and she had to let him. She had to let the past go. She had to let Alex go.

She turned her thoughts back to her friends remarks, "That's all in the past now, we're both adults and friends too. Jeez…it's not like I'm going to jump in to bed with him or anything." Izzie snapped back a little too defensively.

"Woah… Who said anything about jumping in to bed with anyone?" Carrie said holding both her hands up. Causing Izzie's cheeks to flush a little at first, before she shot her friend a look to covey her annoyance at how judgemental she perceived her to be. But before Izzie actually got the chance to say anything further she looked up to suddenly see Alex had appeared out of no-where and was stood waiting for her by the elevators. Glancing straight at him she met his eye as her heart stopped for a moment. He was far away enough not to have heard anything they were saying, but Izzie knew it was still obvious they would have been discussing him as Carrie glanced over in his direction too.

"I gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow," Izzie said quietly as she turned away from her friend to walk towards her ex-husband. Her insides starting to flutter as she anticipated being alone with him again as she took in the way his eyes were watching her, his deep expressive eyes, the windows to his troubled soul. Izze had always been able to figure out exactly what he was thinking, what he was feeling, from his eyes and she had always taken a huge comfort from knowing that the way he looked at her, still looked at her even, was unlike the way he had ever looked at anyone else.

"Iz," Carrie said touching her arm gently, stopping her for a second, "Just be careful," she warned in a low voice smiling kindly, her eyes full of genuine concern as they met Izzie's straight on and Izzie simply smiled weakly in return and nodded her head gratefully.


	7. Chapter 7

a/n - Here is the second part of the previous chapter as promised. Hope you enjoy, (it's my favourite so far!) this chapter is def T/M for now. Just to warn you as gets a little hawt! :)

Thanks for reviewing last chapter and please let me know what you think of this one too!

* * *

"Great place, Iz," Alex said looking around impressed as he followed her a little tentatively in to the hallway of her house. He wasn't quite sure what he had been expecting, but it certainly hadn't been a place as nice as this. The décor was typically Izzie, bright, fresh and modern. Whilst also managing to be homely and inviting.

Izzie had always wanted a big place for all the kids and animals she had wanted to have, once wanted to have with him, and Alex had always known she would make it perfect. She just seemed to have a knack of being able to make any place, even Derek's dingy old trailer, warm and cosy with her special brand of energy.

As he continued to look around her home, Alex couldn't help but almost feel a twinge of regret, sadness even, as he thought back to the many conversations that they'd had when they had been together about what their future home would be like, after they'd made it and were both rich successful surgeons, living the dream. No matter how hard he'd tried not to, Alex had always felt slightly sad that he had been living the dream without her back in Seattle, once he had finally found success. He had truly meant it when he had told her once that he didn't want to be the future of the hospital without her.

"Thanks, I like it," Izzie said in response to his remarks about her home as she tossed her keys down on to the side and led him through to her kitchen.

...

"Okay, so what do you want?" Izzie said as she opened the fridge. "There is some steak I've been marinating, or I could do us some pasta, or chicken maybe?"

"Steak sounds good," Alex said as he perched up against one of the worktops watching her.

"Great, I can do some mashed potato to go with the steaks marinade," she replied as she rummaged through the fridge some more.

"Perfect, as long as the marinade isn't some crazy fusion experiment," Alex teased with a cheeky grin as he felt his stomach growl. Izzie was right, it had been a long time since he'd had a square meal, as he anticipated the thought of something wholesome and home cooked.

Suddenly, Alex felt as though he'd gone back in time as he remembered only too well how much Izzie used to love to experiment with her cooking and how he always used to love winding her up about it. Sometimes her experiments worked out and sometimes they drastically didn't. He'd tease her repeatedly when they weren't working for having her nose in some cookery book or for being glued to the latest baking shows on television. While he in contrast preferred to unwind by watching a ball game on television, or lying back on the sofa with a beer or two. It was funny he thought how easily they could slip back in to their old roles again as he saw her turn away from the fridge to quickly make a face at him in response to his teasing. Before she turned her back on him again.

With Izzie's attention back to preparing their meal. Alex glanced around the immaculate kitchen, it was pretty big for one as he quickly became hit with a new slightly uneasy feeling as he cleared his throat and worked up the courage to ask the question he had been avoiding for the past couple of days, as he said as casually as he could, "So, you live alone then?"

With her head still in the fridge, Izzie said, "Yeah, for now. I did have a roommate but she moved out."

Alex felt slightly relieved for a second. Before he realized that he hadn't actually expected her to be happily shacked up with some other guy if she was so willing to bring him, her ex-husband back with her for the night. But even given that, it still didn't fully answer his burning question about her relationship status. A topic they hadn't got round to discussing yet, with all the shit currently going on in his life giving them more than enough to talk about.

But Alex knew that he had to know, even if it was going to kill him, as he said again, "I have to say, I thought you'd be settled down by now, Iz. You know, living the dream, married with a couple of kids."

As soon as he had said it Alex instantly regretted it, as she looked up at him and he saw the hurt in her eyes. He knew it had been an inappropriate comment for him to make and he felt like an ass. If she hadn't got cancer, he felt certain that they would still be married now and happy, they'd also more than likely have a couple of kids too. Izzie would have made a fabulous mother.

Right now, Alex was pretty uncertain about whether he wanted to have kids. Having them with Jo hadn't been an option, given how unstable she was. The only person he had ever really got the feeling he wanted to have children with was Izzie. He would never have admitted it to anyone, but there had been no doubt in his mind that that was what they were meant to do, even back when they had first dated and fooled around as interns.

"I am with someone, but he's away at the moment," Izzie eventually responded, catching his eye for a split second as Alex quickly looked away, he didn't want her to notice how much it had effected him to hear that. How it felt as though he had taken another bullet to the chest. He hadn't been prepared for how hard it would be to hear there was another man, sharing her life, sharing her bed. He had always thought that if she was happy, he would be happy, but as much as he knew that was what he should feel. It simply wasn't the case.

This time it was Izzie's turn to feel a little guilty. She knew no matter how much her ex-husband had moved on with his life, it was never gong to be easy for him to hear she had too, just as it had stung her so severely when he had told her about Jo. After everything they had been through together. She also knew she owed him further explanation about Josh as she said, "Actually, it's a little complicated. He's been transferred to DC."

"Oh," was all Alex could reply, unable to hide the slight wobble in his voice, inviting her to continue. He needed to know more, even if he really didn't want to hear more.

"He doesn't work at the hospital. Actually he's not even in the medical profession. He's a cop, he works for the feds now. He's been promoted to work over there," she said calmly, although she was more than aware this conversation was becoming more and more awkward.

"You going to go with him ?" Alex said slowly, this time careful to look her in the eye again.

"I honestly don't know. I love my life here, so as I said it's complicated," Izzie replied giggling nervously and looking back in to the fridge aware of Alex's eyes on her still.

"Sounds it," Alex responded.

"Well, you know me, wouldn't expect anything less," Izzie joked further as she looked back up at him, taking out two bottles of beer and handing him one as she opened the other, raising her eyebrows as she said, "Beer?" More than aware she needed to lighten the atmosphere a little.

"Love one, thanks," Alex grinned as he took the bottle from her, opened it and chinked it with hers, before putting it to his lips and drinking thirstily. Waiting for the alcohol to provide him with the familiar relaxed buzz he knew he was in desperate need of.

* * *

"You want to try one of my muffins?" Izzie said a little playfully after they had eaten their main course, offering him a plate of home baked goods.

"When do you find the time to bake these?" Alex said amused as he took one and bit in to it, "Mmmm," he mouthed as he chewed.

"Last night," she replied unfazed as she put the plate down.

"You baked a batch of muffins when you got in last night?" Alex said a little amazed.

"Yeah, well, I couldn't sleep I had a lot on my mind, trying to figure out a way to clear your name. So, I made one batch of muffins, actually two," she added biting her lip.

"So, have my skills improved then?" Izzie went on to say as she watched him stuff the rest in to his mouth.

Swallowing, Alex said with a cheeky glint in his eye, "You can't improve on perfection, Iz," looking back to see her break in to a big giddy smile.

* * *

"Okay, so I happen to have heard some rumours that you were rude to my nursing staff and interns whilst you were at the hospital?" Izzie quizzed several beers later with a small smile, after they had finished eating and were both sat back relaxing on the large leather sofas in her front room, the french doors slightly open providing them with a gentle summer breeze.

Alex smirked a little guiltily. He couldn't lie, he knew he had been a bit of an ass, due to his frustration at being a patient, as he said a touch arrogantly, "Nothing that wasn't deserved."

"Alex, nurses never deserve to take any of your crap," Izzie scolded slightly as she remembered how unpopular he had been as an intern with the entire nursing department back in Seattle. If he hadn't slept with them, he was guaranteed to have been a complete jerk to them at some point.

"Maybe, but interns do, they're bottom of the food chain." Alex replied arrogantly again.

Izzie laughed out loud then as Alex looked at her a little suspiciously, his broody dark eyes narrowing a little as he tried to figure out what he'd said to provoke that kind of reaction as he simply said, "What?" Remembering how she always used to laugh at the most inappropriate things.

"Sorry, I just remembered how you thought Meredith was a nurse back when we first stared our internship. She was fuming. She literally wouldn't stop going on about it for weeks, and I mean weeks, no wonder you earned the name evil spawn," Izzie said still laughing.

Alex started to laugh a little then too as he said, "Yeah, well it was an easy mistake to make."

"Yeah, I wouldn't let her catch you saying that, once evil spawn, always evil spawn," Izzie said as she moved a little closer to him, touching his knee playfully. Causing a sudden boost of electricity to rocket through him at the sensation of her touch, and they both gradually stopped laughing as Izzie said more seriously, "God, Alex, I've really missed you."

Alex had wanted to say that to her for the past couple of days but somehow he hadn't been able to find the courage as he now replied, "I've missed you too, Iz."

They just looked at for each other for a moment, Alex studying his ex-wife's' beautiful features as she looked back at him almost as though she was deliberating some kind of internal struggle, before she said quietly in almost a whisper. "It's going to be okay, Alex. Once you've seen the lawyer tomorrow, it's going to be okay."

He didn't say anything at first, he wished he could believe her, but as much as he was enjoying being with her right now, he knew that soon this moment would be gone and he would be right back to where he started, having to face the reality that he had screwed up again. This time possibly irrevocably.

He moved a little closer to her on the sofa, not moving his eyes from hers. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but not now, not here.

Instead he broke in to a genuine smile as he just nodded and said, "Yeah." His face so close to hers he could almost feel her breath on his skin.

She didn't move her eyes from his and in that instant a thousand thoughts flashed through his mind as her lips hovered dangerously over his. He knew there were countless reasons why he should back off. But the stored up sexual tension he had for her was becoming unbearable. Quickly Alex realized that at that moment in time there was only one thing in the world he wanted to do and nothing felt more right, more natural, as he leaned in and brushed her lips with his. Lightly at first before he picked up momentum, gripping the back of her head and urgently pulling her towards him, as he pressed his lips further in to hers. His heart pounding dramatically as he finally tasted her again.

Izzie kissed him back at first, slowly and cautiously, before he quickly realized something was wrong and before he knew it he felt the palms of her hands pushing lightly against his chest as she abruptly broke the kiss off and repositioned herself away from him.

"I'm sorry, Alex. I can't, I just can't," she whispered apologetically as she shot him a look of shock and slight guilt, and he could only watch completely at a loss for anything to say as she hurriedly stood up, running her hand through her hair as she said clumsily, "I think I should go to bed, you know where everything is? So, I guess I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah," Alex nodded quickly, his cheeks a little red as he forced a weak smile, and just like that the cloud he had been riding on since he had arrived back at Izzie's place that evening, swiftly vanished. Leaving him feeling stupid, disappointed and slightly embarrassed as he immersed himself in darkness again.

* * *

Alex sighed as he sat down on the edge of the bed in Izzie's guest room. Suddenly the sight of more scented candles, girly scatter cushions and flowery green and pink bed spreads, did nothing for him, but make him feel physically sick. What the hell had he been thinking? He thought angrily as he pulled his shoes off followed by his shirt, wincing slightly at the pain caused by the injuries to his battered body still.

How could he have got it so wrong? Misread the signals so spectacularly. He'd seen the look in her eyes, he'd been certain she wanted him too. But, how could he have been so stupid? How could he not have realized, Iz loved him only as a friend now.

She didn't feel that way about him anymore, she'd said it herself, she was with some other guy now, a freaking cop of all people. Just the thought of that made Alex feel inferior he knew chicks digged the arrogant, cock sure presence of cops. He'd seen enough of his co-workers gush when they'd been called in to the hospital. Alex on the other hand did not have a lot of time for them at all, even before the SPD had started trying to ruin his life. But even so that didn't give him the excuse to jump in on another mans girl, even if that girl did happen to be his ex-wife and the complete love of his life.

Izzie was right to push him away, he started to think. They could never go back to where they were before. Hadn't they hurt each other enough? What did he hope to achieve, screw her brains out then watch while she told him she was going off to be with someone else?

If he hadn't been so damn impulsive, if he'd thought with his brain for once, they could have become friends again, she could have helped him. But he had wanted her so much, that he'd literally had no control over his actions. She still had that affect on him even now, she drove him crazy and there was nothing he could do about it.

But now he had ruined any chance of having her back in his life as a friend. He would have to leave first thing in the morning. He would have to start returning that jackass of a lawyers calls again. He was back to square one. He had nothing, he thought, dropping his bruised face in to his hand, contemplating just why he always had to go and ruin any good thing that came his way?

Just as he was about to attempt to get some kind of sleep, pondering what his next move should be. Alex stirred slightly as he heard a gentle tapping at the door and he looked up to see the handle slowly turning. His heart instantly starting to beat faster as he felt a jolt of adrenaline violently hit him as he saw the door open to reveal Izzie stood in front of him in nothing but her underwear.

He didn't move at first, he just stared at her, stunned. She was wearing a matching candy pink lingerie set, setting off her light blonde hair and sun kissed skin perfectly. Her panties were edged with lace that fitted her toned body incredibly and they were complimented by a very sexy push up bra accentuating her big perfectly formed breasts. She was still every bit the hot Bethany Whispers model, Alex thought, the girl that he had spent so many nights lusting after when he had first known her as an intern.

As he continued to stare at her, he still didn't say anything, he just watched as she moved slowly towards him their eyes locking together with lust as his body quickly became taken over by a deep rooted arousal. His physical need for her intensifying by the second. Before he knew it her arms were around his neck and her lips were on his, fast, passionate, intense. This time the kiss was all her, she was taking the lead and he was loving every minute of it powerless to make her stop as they tumbled back on to the bed and she straddled him with her long luscious legs.

As he felt her breasts pressing against him, her legs wrapping further around his waist Alex allowed himself to let go slightly as he realized just how much he had missed her body. Realizing just how much over the past few years he had been craving the sex life he had had with her. Nothing else had even come close to how he had felt when he had been making love to her. She had no insecurities, no hang ups, she knew what she wanted and she wasn't afraid to get it and that had turned him on more than anything else.

He reached up and undid the clasp on her bra as he felt her skilled fingers reaching down to undo his jeans and slide in to his boxers, to wrap around him causing him to gasp out with the pleasure at feeling her touch again. He quickly pulled off her bra and pushed his bare muscular torso further against her naked breasts. Moving his mouth down to explore them with his lips.

Before they knew it they were both fully naked. Every sensation fully immersed in the act, every sense engaged. Alex wanted her with powerful urgency as he wore the slightly stunned look of a man who is a slave to lust. She rolled on top of him, causing him to momentarily wince a little with the pain of his broken ribs as Izzie stopped and looked at him for a second her face full of concern as she whispered affectionately, "You okay?"

"Yeah," he whispered back, and he truly meant it. He moved his mouth to plant light feather like kisses up and down her neck. Just how she had always liked it. He knew technically what they were doing was wrong, but he didn't see how it could be that wrong when it felt so damn right.

As they moved he gripped her close and gazed in to her eyes as her heart fluttered and her uncensored gasps urged him on even more as his groans of pleasure sent shivers up and down her spine again and again. The mutual release of the stored up sexual energy that had been growing ever since they had set eyes on each other again. Now both unable to control their delight in being with each other again.

...

Collapsing back on to the bed, both slightly breathless and wildly satisfied, Alex knew they had completed something special as he gently caressed her hair and the side of her cheek with his thumb. Just in that moment, he felt more content than he had felt in years as he felt her body relax in to his arms, and he suddenly thought to himself, "What next?"


	8. Chapter 8

a/n - Thanks for reviews, it's great people seem to be loving this story as much as I do. I have more chapters planned and am really enjoying writing this. So, I hope you like where this story is going, and as usual any thoughts are always very welcome :)

* * *

Alex opened his eyes to see the room was flooded with daylight. Looking over he saw Izzie's blonde hair splayed out over the pillow next to him. Her arm brushing his hip as the soft skin of her naked thigh gently nudged his leg. It hit him, he wasn't dreaming, he'd definitely slept with her again. His beautiful but slightly unpredictable, ex-wife, Izzie.

He shifted a little and she prized her sleepy eyes open to focus on him as he gave her a shy but contented smile.

"Morning," Izzie said flashing him an equally shy smile in return, before she turned over exposing her bare back to him as she reached for a small clock placed by the side of the bed.

Alex was contemplating whether it would be appropriate to lean in and nuzzle his face in to her exposed flesh. His finger tips lightly teasing her inner thigh lazily. It was a while since he'd had sex, even longer since he'd had good sex and his body was eager and more than ready for more.

"Oh, crap - crap, I overslept. I am so late, this isn't even funny," Izzie said. Abruptly pulling off the duvet with one single movement as she leapt out of bed and away from Alex, leaning down to collect her discarded underwear, her cheeks flushing slightly as Alex didn't even attempt to look away. She knew that he'd seen her naked many, many times, but here now it felt different somehow. There wasn't that level of comfortable intimacy between them anymore. He wasn't her husband or her boyfriend even and Izzie had never been one for casual sex. Despite being an ex–lingerie model, her body was only ever reserved for people she was fully committed too.

"You know where everything is?" Izzie questioned as she turned to quickly leave the room, leaving Alex lying alone in bed a little bewildered and slightly confused but still on a high none the less. Sighing, he leaned back with his hands behind his head. Although still a tad horny, he was actually feeling calmer and better rested than he had for weeks, ever since the first sign of any of the damn trouble that had come his way back in Seattle.

The next thing he heard was the sound of the shower being switched on. Then a few cupboards being banged around in the kitchen before the front door slammed shut.

With Izzie gone, Alex slowly climbed out of bed too, grabbing the towel she had left by the bed for him, as he made his way in to her bathroom to shower and freshen up.

Lathering his healing body with Izzie's orange blossom shower gel, the exact same one she had always used, he suddenly felt a little weird. He couldn't stop re-playing every moment of their night of passion, the only good thing to have happened to him in weeks, but it also felt strange that after so much time had passed he was back to lusting after her so intensely again. He looked around him and there were little reminders of her all over the place, her energy was everywhere. She still used the same brand of shampoo and shower gel, the same pots of expensive skins creams and a row of white tea lights were placed by the side of the bath. It was like stepping back in time. He remembered how she had always wanted them to take long luxurious baths together. With anyone else that would have made him feel uncomfortable, but not with her, somehow although he'd never admit it to anyone, he'd enjoyed those intimate moments together just as much as she had, and he'd never quite been able to replicate that with anyone else. It was the little things like that that he had missed the most after she had gone. When he had been alone.

But here now in her new bathroom, everything was different. They weren't together now, they were no longer newly weds madly in love. In a way they were practically strangers, having led totally separate lives for years. He also had absolutely no idea what Izzie was thinking about what had just happened between them either, seeing as she had left so abruptly. He couldn't blame her for that though. He knew how sporadic and demanding the life of a surgeon was. Your surgeries came first. It was as simple as that.

He couldn't help feeling a little envious too, that she was probably in the middle of something exciting, unable to give their night of passion a second thought, while he was left dissecting every moment of it like some silly chick. But he also knew Izzie better than anyone. He knew she would still be thinking about it a bit, she wouldn't be able to help herself. He wondered if it had opened the door to her feelings again or whether it had simply been the break up sex they were both so badly owed. He then wondered if she was thinking that it had been a mistake. Which led him to think, as he slowly watched the soapy suds turning clear and washing over his skin…Had it been a mistake?

There was no denying he had wanted her, badly. That had been apparent ever since he had first laid eyes on her again. No girl had ever got under his skin like Izzie had. But no girl had ever hurt him like she had either. He'd been to hell and back with her and really and truly he couldn't allow himself to become vulnerable again. Not when he'd worked so hard to shut her and her memory out, to develop feelings for someone else. To persuade himself he really was better off without her.

But despite all that, Alex knew as he leaned in to the powerful surge of water, letting it bounce off his face, that he never felt truly complete unless he was with her. The last few days of being back with her, of slipping back in to that same old familiarity together, had felt like he had discovered himself again. Like a light was shining on who he really was again, where he was meant to be. He also sensed she felt it too, he could see by the look in her eyes, the way she had responded to his touch and for a moment they had both lost all sense of self control. Giving in to the pleasures that only their bodies could provide each other with. Alex had felt for the first time in weeks as though he was in control of something again. That he was needed again. Izzie needed him and he was giving her the one thing that he knew she could only get from him, and in that moment he knew she had become vulnerable too.

Where the hell did they go from here though? She was living in a different state, dating a different guy, and he was….well…Which led him to suddenly think about what he had to do later that day. The enormity of the situation hitting him as he stepped out of the shower and in to the steamed up bathroom. Rubbing his damp naked body with his towel as he examined the dressing on his side in the misted up mirror in front of him, he would need to change it later. His hair dripping wet on to the carpet as he leaned over slightly further to get a better look. Before he realized that would have to wait. Right now he needed to hurry up and get a move on.

Today, was the day he had arranged at such short notice to meet the fancy hot shot lawyer, that Izzie had set up for him. He needed to focus and concentrate on being the best he possibly could. On making himself look half presentable. Thoughts of the previous night with Izzie starting to fade away as he looked ahead to the meeting. Allowing himself to think, that maybe, just maybe, there could be some hope now. That there might actually be a way out after all. Although, he didn't like being powerless and so dependent on someone else again. Izzie had said not to worry about the fees that it was all taken care of, but he would pay her back, every last cent of it.

* * *

Alex walked tentatively over to the front desk of the sleek marble floored, glass walled building. Announcing his name in a low voice, watching as the immaculately dressed young woman in front of him eyed him suspiciously, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow from behind her gleaming desk as she picked up a gleaming phone. Before her expression softened slightly, he might not look pretty but he was clearly down as someone important as she gestured towards the elevators and said, "Mr Olsen, is on the sixth floor, he's expecting you."

Alex's pulse suddenly raced. Clive Olsen, he knew little about the guy except he was an illusive and successful west coast lawyer to the rich and famous, right here in Silicon Valley.

...

Stepping off the elevator Alex composed himself as he knocked on the door to Olsen's office. A jolt of adrenaline rushing over him as he heard a male voice telling him to go in. Entering the room, Alex saw a guy in his mid to late fifties, dressed in a sleek designer suit standing up with his hand out poised, flashing some serious dental work as he reached over to shake Alex's hand firmly.

"Dr Karev, pleasure to meet you," he said as he gestured to a young woman dressed equally as sleekly sat to the side of his desk. "This is Grace, my assistant," he stated as he gestured for Alex to take a seat and the young woman shot him an obligatory smile.

Alex sat down a little self consciously, looking around the room to see comfortable leather chairs, shelves thick with legal books and a impressive looking gas fire, flames flickering in to the air conditioning.

"So, lets get to work," Olsen said firmly. "Before we start I want to make something very clear, Dr Karev. I win, unwinnable cases, I'm the best and from the sound of it you need the best. But I need something from you in return. I need you to co-operate fully and tell me everything and I mean everything. Because right now I have to tell you, things aren't looking too good for you. I don't want to patronize you, but it's a tough one. Allegations of child abuse, the only suspect in an attempted murder, where there are witnesses to say you had a serious grudge against the victim, possible DNA evidence and lastly a suspected domestic violence charge." He stopped and looked at Alex his eyes focused and unblinking, waiting for Alex's reaction.

"How do you know all that?" Was all Alex could muster up in response.

"It's my job, Dr Karev," Olsen replied with the confidence of a man who was the best in his field, a man who liked his life. "So, now what I need you to do, is to give me your version of events, all of them. Tell me the truth, I cannot emphasise that enough, if you hide anything from me, even something you perceive to be irrelevant, our arrangement will be screwed."

Alex cleared his throat, this was the bit he had been dreading, he could tell the truth alright, but he knew where that would inevitably lead and he didn't like it. But he remembered Izzie's words to him, when she'd first found out, when she'd been so horrified that he was in this situation. _"It's your life on the line, Alex, your career, everything you have worked so hard for, you can't just throw all that away, when you've done nothing wrong'_. So, he took a deep breath and he told the truth, all of it. Starting at the beginning, the night of the storm, then the blackmailing Jason, then the argument with the young patient and lastly the fight with Jo. Looking down at his hands as he spoke, glancing up occasionally to see Olsen's assistant busily typing every word he was saying, her expression unreadable, as Olsen linked his hands together, leaned back in to his chair and nodded in the appropriate places to indicate to Alex that he had his full attention as Alex's version of events came to a close.

There was a small slightly uncomfortable silence, before Olsen spoke again. "Right, well first thing is to find out exactly what the police have on you. That can be done easily. We will know what we are facing from there. But the good news is, Dr Karev, you didn't actually do anything," he said, sounding almost surprised as he added, "Which means this will be fairly easy to make disappear."

"How – how will you do that?" Alex suddenly said sounding a little panicked.

"Leave that to us," Olsen replied with a knowing smile.

"Dr Wilson.." Alex quickly said. He wouldn't let them go after Jo and he wouldn't press charges, ever.

"Will be a defence lawyers dream, she can play the victim, the self defence card, she has nothing to fear, not that it will even come to that. Believe me the cops won't be interested in going after her, even if Jason Myers shouted it from the roof top, which as I am led to believe from you he won't."

"No, he won't," Alex said nodding his head as slowly relief started to wash over him. It was true Jason wouldn't drop Jo in it now and it was also true that the cops had had it in for Alex from the start, he was the arrogant, un-cooperative doctor that they perceived to be a low life bully and wife beater. Looking back he couldn't have handled things any worse. But hopefully now there was a glimmer of hope.

* * *

Izzie rushed to the phone in the middle of the nurses station on the crowded surgical floor. Ever since she had arrived for work that morning she had been flat out tending to emergencies. Now the first break she had she found herself calling Alex.

"Hello," he said picking up, sounding a little cautious and on edge.

"It's me," Izzie said in a rushed voice, sounding slightly on edge too. She knew there was a conversation they needed to have, but right now all she cared about was how Alex had got on with Clive Olsen as she added, "So, how did it go?"

"Good, really good," Alex said running his hand through his hair from where he was stood outside a coffee house on a busy city street. "Iz, he thinks he can make it all go away, just like that. He knows ways to make the cops drop the charges, get me my medical license back." He said slowly and carefully, hardly able to believe it still. He didn't want to get too carried away, he knew is still wasn't over yet. It kind of just sounded too good to be true.

"That's so great, Alex," Izzie said beaming down the phone at him from where she was stood in her surgical scrubs in the middle of the hospital. She was about to ask another question when her pager suddenly beeped. She glanced down at it cursing slightly as she turned back to the phone and said, "Listen, I got to go and check on a patient, but it shouldn't take too long then I'm done, so you want to meet for a drink? Celebrate?" Izzie said again in a hushed voice.

"Sure, that would be great," Alex replied, a new kind of nervous excitement hitting him as he realized, she wasn't expecting him to be leaving her place anytime soon.

* * *

Izzie was hit with a swarm of butterflies as she looked over at her handsome ex-husband sat in the bar waiting for her. So much time had passed, so much had happened. But he still had that same effect on her. Especially given the things he had done to her the previous night. A thought that made Izzie blush uncontrollably just thinking about as she made her way over to him.

She smiled brightly at him and slid in to the vacant seat opposite him. Her chest fluttering. She knew technically the right thing to have done, would have been to have kept away from him after he had kissed her the night before, to have cleared the air the following morning and carried on being a good friend to him until his life was back on track and he went back to Seattle. But Izzie knew that simply wasn't possible. Deep down she had known that from the minute she had suggested he stayed at her place. She didn't want to hurt him again and she sure as hell didn't want to get hurt herself again, but being around him again just felt too good.

...

"You know, we shouldn't be celebrating yet. There are still some things I have to get to Olsen's office and he still hasn't confirmed anything yet. I mean, I guess until I actually have my medical license back in my hands I can't get too carried away," Alex said as he watched Izzie sipping her wine opposite him, her big light brown eyes sparking with the reflection of the glass as she looked back at him intently.

"You'll get it back," she said firmly.

Alex smiled gently back at her, he wished he could share her strong sense of optimism. But as much as she was glass half full, he would always be glass half empty, it was just in his blood as he said, "I really hope you're right."

"I'm right," she said placing her hand over his, causing his body to immediately stir, but it was a gesture meant purely out of kindness, he wasn't sure whether it was an indication of anything else as she gently removed it and they both carried on drinking. Their eyes meeting for a moment as they shared an unspoken moment. There was a connection there still. One that in their hearts they both knew, whatever happened to them next, wherever life took them, would always be there. Which both terrified and excited them all at the same time.

* * *

"So, then I turned to her and I said…" Izzie said giggling mid conversation about one of her patients as Alex sat shirtless perched on the edge of her bed. Watching as she gently removed the dressing from his wounded side, to examine and cleanse the bruised wound.

Alex was barely listening to Izzie's story as he continued to watch her as she worked, feeling her delicate fingers on his exposed flesh as he inhaled the sweet scent of her perfume as she moved closer to him, causing him to tremble a little with the intimacy. He looked to the side of the room to see a photo frame with a picture of Izzie shaking an important looking man's hand. He reached over to pick it up to get a better look.

"It's me," Izzie said smiling, "I set up a cancer charity, to help other survivors like me," she said her tone quickly turning more serious.

Alex put it down and just looked at her again. Despite the odds stacked against her, she was here, they were here together. He'd been to hell and back in the past few months, but here now looking at Izzie again it was almost as though none of that mattered. Neither of them had brought up the conversation yet of what had happened the previous night, and that was just the way Alex wanted it for now. He had more than enough to think about, without having to deal with that as well, as he just continued to look at his ex-wife right in front of him.

She tenderly, almost lovingly, slowly placed the fresh dressing on his side. Taking extra special care to make sure it was in the exact right place, before she looked up to see his deep expressive brown eyes staring in to hers. He knew no-one cared about him the way she did.

"Your vulnerability is really freaking me out right now," Izzie said as her eyes locked with Alex's some more from where she was sat next to him. He leaned further towards her, she was right he was vulnerable, as well as lost and more than a little screwed up with no idea what he really wanted anymore. But for now he was very certain of the one thing he wanted more than anything. The one thing, the one person, that he knew could take all that pain and worry away as he pushed his mouth in to hers again.

Izzie felt a tingle spread down her body as she felt his lips on hers as he bent her head back slightly, causing them to both feel a surge of warmth again as he kissed her softly at first, before picking up intensity as his mouth parted her trembling lips further, his body pulsing in to hers furiously. He wanted her, needed her so badly again. It was the only thing that made sense to Alex in his current crazy life as slowly they found themselves falling back on the bed.

They knew they weren't living in the real word. Both harbouring an inner anxiety that sooner or later things would have to go back to the way they had been before they had come crashing back together. But for now, they were both purely living in the moment and loving every minute of it.

...


	9. Chapter 9

a/n - Thanks for all the reviews. I know things are a little up in the air at the moment, but this story is about Alex and Izzie finding their way back to each other and falling in love all over again. Of course that's not going to be easy ;) But they need to figure out if they can actually be together and make each other happy! It would be unrealistic for them to just fall back in to each other's arms straight away. But there is lots of good stuff to come :)

* * *

Izzie exhaled gently, feeling blissfully content and happy as she snuggled back in to the strong protective arms wrapped around her. Quickly sensing Alex's breathing becoming less rhythmical, signalling he was also starting to wake as she felt the all too familiar sensation of something hard pressing up against her.

Turning over lazily, smiling inwardly to herself, Izzie carefully re-positioned herself, to enable her right hand to glide down expertly waking Alex fully. He let out a small groan, moaning in to his pillow as he said sleepily, "I forgot how freakin good you are at that."

Izzie responded with a mischievous grin. She knew what they were doing was technically wrong, that they were playing with fire even. But right now she just didn't care. It felt way too good to be with Alex again to worry about getting wound up in moral dilemmas. To think about what was going to happen next, how they were both going to feel, when the inevitable happened and Alex had to leave. Causing them both to face reality and go back to the real world, losing each other all over again

…..

Moments later Alex lay back on the pillow slightly breathless, a completely satisfied grin crossing his face as a small bead of sweat broke on his forehead. Only Izzie could wake him up like that. He turned to face her full on. She stroked his hair slightly over his temple as she started to examine the yellowing bruises and healing cuts on his face.

"How'd I look?" Alex said softly as he took in her wide eyes flickering over him with concern.

"You're healing well," she replied with a smile.

Before she really had the chance to think about what she was doing next, she leaned over and kissed his bruised cheek lovingly. Causing him to instantly give her a look of gratitude and happiness as it hit him how much he meant to her still as her cool lips kissed his healing ailments. It was at that moment that they both realized they had crossed a line. Izzie instantly drew back slightly. Realizing that had been far too intimate a gesture for just break up sex with an ex. Her friend Carrie was right, she needed to be careful, she was starting to really fall for him all over again. All the emotions he brought out in her were slowly starting to come flooding back.

Falling for Alex had been one hell of a roller coaster ride. From the early years spent trying to convince herself she wasn't in love with him, fighting the overwhelming attraction she had for him, terrified of getting hurt again after he had cheated on her the first time around. To the years after their divorce spent trying to convince herself she was no longer in love with him, that she could move on. Izzie just wasn't sure she could put herself through all that pain and turmoil again as she looked at Alex's gentle and deep brown eyes looking back at her as he reached out and put his arm around her. He felt it all too, she knew he did.

The past two days had been like a dream for both of them, they had spent over twenty four hours in bed together. Laughing and talking for hours on end, in between electrifying sessions of love making. Only managing to tear themselves away from each other to restock their drink supplies and answer the door to the pizza delivery guy.

Izzie knew it couldn't last forever though, sighing a little leaning back in to Alex's arm, suddenly hearing the loud vibrations of her phone from the side of the bed as it lit up and started ringing. She quickly rolled over to pick it up, her heart dropping slightly as she knew exactly who it would be. Looking down at it, she let it ring off, she would call him back later, because she knew only too well that she needed to speak to him.

Alex sensed immediately who had been on the phone. Izzie's body language had changed, she had lost that carefree look in her eye from moments before.

He shifted and cleared his throat slightly as he braced himself to ask the one question that he really didn't want to know the answer to, even though he knew he needed to hear it all the same, "Do you love him?"

Izzie didn't say anything at first, she just stared in to space. She couldn't help but feel a little weird, but she knew she needed to be honest with Alex, he at least deserved that as she eventually responded a little distantly, "I really thought I did," which was as honest as she could be, even with herself.

The truth being that up until recently she had thought she had been madly in love with Josh, things had been perfect and for a while she had loved their life together, but even before Alex had come back on the scene, things were getting complicated. Now it was starting to become clear to her that she loved Josh in the same way that she had loved Denny. Both great guys, not without their faults, but neither would ever, or could ever, be the man lying in bed next to her now, the man that set her world on fire. Although, Izzie also knew that kind of passion and depth of feeling came with a price, one that perhaps she wasn't so willing to pay again.

She bit her lip slightly and turned back to her ex-husband as she said softly, twisting the edge of the bed covers slightly anxiously, feeling a knot in her stomach, "Did you love her?"

This time it was Alex's turn to feel weird and awkward. He knew Izzie had just been honest with him, she had been moving on until he had come back to her, messing with her head again as she had his. Therefore, she deserved to hear the truth from him too, as he put his hand up to run down his bruised face and said, "I thought I did," and for a while Alex truly had thought he could love someone else. That he could share his life with someone else. Someone that got him, that didn't judge him, that hadn't left him, that he could just live a carefree, happy existence with for once.

But being with Jo had been anything but carefree, right from the start, she had way too many psychological issues for that, and towards the end it hadn't been particularly happy either. When he'd first met Jo, although all the signs were there to make him suspect she'd wanted to be with him. He'd had absolutely no desire to date her, or any feelings for her at all, apart from caring about her in a friendly way and wanting to look out for her. Sure, he had wanted to sleep with her, she was a good looking girl, but then again Alex had wanted to sleep with pretty much any half decent looking girl with a pulse back then. It had only been when she had started dating another guy and Meredith had put the idea in to his head, that he'd thought maybe Jo could be good for him. Give him what he needed, what he craved. But being back with Izzie, Alex was slowly starting to realize that there was really only one girl that could give him all of that and if he was completely honest with himself that scared the hell out of him. He also had no intention of sharing that with her either, at least not yet.

Neither of them spoke for a short while, after that, before Izzie climbed out of bed. Throwing on a short cream satin robe and shaking out her long slightly ruffled blond hair behind her. Alex couldn't help but feel a little uneasy that she had her back to him. Wondering whether it was signalling things were different between them now as a result of their brief awkward chat and her phone call. Which panicked him slightly, because he didn't want to ever come back down from the cloud he was currently riding on.

"I'm going to make us breakfast," Izzie said forcing a bright smile as she turned to look at him as she stood up.

* * *

"Something smells good," Alex said trying to lighten the mood again as he wondered up behind Izzie, putting his head over her shoulder to inspect her cooking, just like he always used to, back when they had been together. Always getting just a little too close to tease her at the same time as he pressed his body in to hers playfully.

"I know how much you used to love your bacon, eggs and pancakes," Izzie said as she flipped the pancakes over, turning up the gas as he grinned and took a step back.

…..

Alex couldn't remember the last time anyone had made him a breakfast like that, suspecting it had probably been Izzie, as he sat down and tucked in to the steaming plate of food in front of him, as Izzie poured him an orange juice and wandered over to join him.

Just as he wolfed down the last mouthful hungrily moments later, this time it was Alex's turn to hear his phone ring from where he had tucked it in to his jeans pocket. He pulled it out, jumping up from his seat, making his way in to the hall to take the call. His stomach somersaulting violently at what it might mean.

Izzie looked up curiously as Alex left the room. Wondering who was calling him and why he didn't want to take the call in front of her. Clearing away the breakfast plates she strained a little to try and hear the conversation, but all she could make out was Alex's muffled voice, she couldn't even make out the gist of what he was saying.

"Okay, that's great, I'll see you then, thanks for the call," Alex said moments later as he stepped back in to the room, waving his phone at Izzie as he said, "Olsen's PA."

"Oh," Izzie said curiously, waiting for him to explain further, not wanting to appear to be prying too much.

"They need some more information from me and a few more documents, but they think they've got me my medical license and job back," he said cautiously. "They've also dug up some dirt on the scumbag father of the kid making the accusations, apparently he's got a history of doing this kind of thing and they scared him off. Plus, all domestic violence charges have been dropped, there's not enough evidence to charge me without a victim statement. They were just trying to scare me in to confessing."

"That's great," Izzie said smiling as she noticed he wasn't sharing in her enthusiasm and she frowned a little as she said, "What's wrong?"

"Ahh..the other charge, attempted murder. They want to speak to Meredith, get her to amend her statement to the police," he said running his hand through his hair. He wasn't comfortable with that part at all.

"So, let them," Izzie said confused.

"No, I can't let them do that. I've already dragged her in to all this too much. Besides, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't do it anyway," he said sighing.

"Why wouldn't she?" Izzie said passionately, she really didn't understand. Meredith had always been there for Alex and vice versa. It just didn't make sense.

"Iz, just leave it, okay," Alex said angrily, his eyes narrowing. The last thing he wanted right now was Izzie interfering. He was grateful for her concern but he needed to handle this his own way.

Izzie didn't say anything for a moment, a little taken aback at the harshness of his reaction. Before she simply nodded and said, "Okay."

"I got to go and take a shower, I need to be downtown to meet with Olsen in an hour." Alex said quickly as he turned to leave the room.

* * *

Alone in the house later, Izzie sat down at her laptop, trying to catch up with some work stuff. Normally on her days off, she slept, cleaned, shopped and worked on her charity stuff, as well as spent time with her boyfriend. The past couples of days she had done none of that. She opened her inbox to see a message from Josh, five words '_Call me, I miss you! x'_

She swallowed and picked up her phone.

"Iz, where have you been? I rang the hospital they said you were at home. Carrie said I needed to talk to you. What's going on? Is everything okay?" Josh said, in his usual energetic, but also calm and reassuring voice. Making Izzie realize how much she had missed him and what he brought her, even if they had kind of broken up when he had left to take his transfer.

"I'm okay, but Carries right, we do need to talk. After you left, Alex turned up at the hospital he's been having a hard time, so he's been staying with me for a few days," Izzie blurted out, realizing just how that would sound and hating herself a little. The last thing she would ever want to do was hurt Josh.

"Alex?" Josh replied a little confused.

"From Seattle," Izzie explained. There was a short silence from the other end as Josh figured out just who Alex actually was.

"Your ex-husband?" he said slowly.

"Yes," Izzie replied.

"Should I be worried?" he said, just like that, and at that point Izzie suddenly wished he wasn't so direct. But he always just said exactly what he was thinking, no hang ups, defensiveness, or games.

Izzie pressed her lips together, how the hell did she even begin to say, that no matter how hard she had tried, she hadn't been able to resist the man that had nearly broken her. That even now years later their insane attraction was still as strong as ever.

"I don't know," she replied truthfully as she was met with another silence from the other end of the phone.

"Izzie, I can't come back, we're in the middle of something big here. But I need to see you," he said firmly, adding, pleading slightly. "Get on a plane tonight, we can sort this out."

"You know I can't do that, I have a job here," Izzie protested.

"Can't or wont," he replied with almost defeat in his voice.

Izzie sighed it was the same old argument, he was always in the middle of something big with his job. Some top secret assignment, he couldn't tell her about. As a doctor she always had to put her work first too. Alex might not be perfect but he understood that, he was in the same profession and that had never once been an issue for them.

"I've got to go, I've got another call coming in, but listen I love you, we'll get through this," Josh quickly said as he hung up before she even had the chance to say anything back to him. Making her feel even worse.

Izzie came away from the call more confused than ever. She'd all but told Josh she was sleeping with her ex-husband again and rather than get mad, he had just wanted to fight for her, for them. To win her back. Alex had never done that for her, even when they had been married, even when she had been battling cancer. What made her think that would now be any different?

...

However, as confused as she was about what was going on between her and Alex. Something else was niggling Izzie further. The conversation she'd had with Alex about Meredith. It just didn't stack up to Izzie. Something about it was bothering her. Izzie had always known that apart from her, Meredith was the only other person that had ever really given a damn about Alex. Izzie had felt confident that Meredith would have been the family to Alex that she hadn't been able to be. So, it made no sense that she would turn her back on him now.

Before she got the chance to change her mind, Izzie picked up her phone for the second time that day to have an extremely awkward conversation. Feeling her fingers trembling as her pulse rocketed around her body, hardly able to believe it could be such a big deal speaking to one of her once best friends.

"Hello," Meredith said picking up, just as Izzie was about to hang up. Meredith sounded older somehow and more uptight as Izzie heard the sound of an infant screaming in the background. She suddenly remembered Alex telling her that Meredith had just had a baby. Izzie hadn't pressed him on the details as she had sensed he hadn't really wanted to discuss it or in fact anything to do with just Seattle in general.

"Meredith, hi, it's Izzie," Izzie said cheerfully.

Meredith didn't reply at first, causing Izzie to wonder if she would even talk to her. They hadn't fallen out. They had kept in touch via email, when Izzie had first started working again. But only about medical stuff, it had always been a tad awkward. Then it had just fizzled out, Izzie suspected it had something to do with Meredith wanting to be loyal to Alex. Whereas stuff like that didn't bother Cristina who Izzie had kept in more regular contact with.

"Izzie, hey, how's it going?" Meredith said a little wearily as Izzie heard the baby's cries getting louder in the background as Meredith tried to calm him down. She sounded just like a new Mom, a woman at breaking point, being tested to the limit, surviving on next to no sleep, whilst having a tiny little person hopelessly dependent on you, as you are completely and utterly exhausted, but dizzy with happiness all the same. Izzie couldn't help being a tad jealous. She would love to be in that situation right now.

"I'm good thanks, listen, do you want me to call back another time?" Izzie quickly said. Realizing now might not be the best time to have the type of conversation she was about to broach.

"Oh, no, I think this is about as good as it's going to get. That's until Derek gets home and I can hand him over. I mean, he's fed, changed, winded, so blow me if I know what's up with him," Meredith said with a small chuckle as the baby still wailed in the background and she said in a soothing voice, "Ssshh…sshh.."

Izzie smiled a little from the other end of the phone, that was the old Meredith she remembered, always trying to make light of even the most stressful situations. "Sounds of the sea," she blurted out to her.

"What?" Meredith said confused.

"Sounds of the sea, it's the best way to send babies off to sleep. Worked for my sister and she had twins with colic," Izzie said.

"You have a sister?" Meredith replied.

"Yeah.." Izzie said slowly and slightly awkwardly, now wasn't the time to get in to her new family tree, as she changed the subject and said, "Actually, Mer, I didn't just call to catch up…" She took a deep breath, ready to continue as Meredith interrupted her and said, "You're calling about Alex, aren't you?"

"Yes," Izzie replied a little taken aback.

"Listen, Izzie, I don't know what you've heard, but honestly you should just stay out of it," Meredith said as the cries in the background started to quiten a little.

"I can't do that," Izzie said firmly.

"He's there with you, isn't he?" Meredith said.

Izzie contemplated whether to lie or not as she said, "He came to me for help, he had nothing, no-one." Her voice raised slightly, she couldn't quite believe Meredith was being so cold about it, as Izzie challenged her to prove her wrong. That she did care about Alex.

"How is he?" Meredith said softly with a little more concern.

"He's okay considering," Izzie replied.

"You're sleeping with him aren't you?" Meredith blurted out with the irritated but familiar tone only a close friend could get away with. And just like with Alex, it suddenly felt to Izzie as though she had only seen Meredith yesterday as she didn't answer her question, knowing her silence would say it all.

"What is it with you two? Haven't you hurt each other enough? You just can't let each other go," Meredith said sighing.

"Seriously, you're really not in a position to judge," Izzie snapped back annoyed at her old friend.

"I'm not judging. Just – just, be careful, Iz," Meredith replied in a warning tone that made Izzie feel uneasy. She expected that from her new friend Carrie, but not Meredith, surely she would always see things from Alex's side now.

"I don't understand," Izzie said.

"Iz, it's complicated and I really think you should stay away from Alex." Meredith said wearily again as this time it was Izzie's turn to jump in and interrupt. "This is Alex we're talking about here, Meredith, _Alex._ I mean, I'm more than aware he can be a total jerk. But he's one of us, one of your people, remember. Yes, he may have screwed up this time, but doesn't he deserve the benefit of the doubt? How could you just turn your back on him? After everything," Izzie said passionately, she knew she probably had no right to refer to herself as one of Meredith's people anymore, but she just couldn't understand why Alex wasn't.

"Izzie, you might think you know Alex, but you don't, not really, none of us did," Meredith said bluntly, continuing, "You really don't know what he is capable of, and I have two children now, and a career, a reputation. I have to put that first." Meredith said sighing, she really didn't want to have this conversation, dragging it all up again was just too painful.

"What – what is he capable of? Because as far as I can tell, he's done nothing wrong," Izzie said even more passionately.

"I wish that were true, I really do. But he's capable of assault, of losing it, losing it with a woman," Meredith said quietly, cutting in again.

Izzie shook her head in sheer disbelief as she said, "Who told you that?"

"_He did,"_ Meredith replied.

"Oh, and you believed him?" Izzie said.

"Not at first, no, but he looked me in the eye and he swore to me that he was telling the truth," Meredith said shakily. She had forgiven Alex for a lot over the years. But this time she just couldn't forgive him. This time it had gone way beyond dark and twisty, the old her maybe could have handled it but Meredith had to leave dark and twisty behind now, she'd grown up she had responsibilities.

Izzie could feel her blood boiling and her heart beating faster and faster. Meredith was right, this was one hell of a mess, one that she possibly never should have got involved in. But she had and she was in it deep now, whether she liked it or not.

"I've got to go, it was good to speak to you, Mer," Izzie said quietly.

"You too….. and take care, Iz," Meredith said as Izzie hung up, barely even listening to what her old friend was saying. All she could think was she needed to speak to Alex and fast. She needed to sort things out once and for all.

* * *

Wow, that was a little heavy, but I felt we needed to see things from Meredith's point of view, obviously she would never turn her back on Alex unless there was a good reason.

Any reviews appreciated. Oh and next chapter is going to be an emotional one :)


	10. Chapter 10

a/n - Thanks so much to everyone for reading and reviewing. Apologies for the delay in updating this story! Things have been crazy, but all in a good way :) So, here is the next chapter. Please let me know what you think ;)

* * *

Alex slowly turned the key in the front door to Izzie's house, pausing as he wondered whether he should just ring the bell and wait. It felt weird. Then it didn't. Izzie might not be his wife anymore, a lot of water may have passed under the bridge between them. But, the past few days that they had spent together had been just like old times. She'd mothered him slightly, baking and cooking for him, even doing his laundry. He'd taken plenty of opportunities to tease her. But they had also talked, a lot, about everything. It had become apparent that they were still on exactly the same wave length. No-one got him like Izzie did. Then there was the sex. The sex had been incredible, just like it always had been. Some things never changed.

But then there was the harsh reality that despite how they had been behaving, they weren't together anymore. They led completely separate lives, in different hospitals, different states, different worlds.

Creeping back in to each others lives and possibly hearts again, was like playing with fire. Alex knew that as he exhaled slowly, edging the front door open. He hated to admit that being away from Izzie even for a few hours, had made him miss her. He had become so used to her being around all the time again. He was amazed she had trusted him enough to give him a spare key to her place too. But as she had said, it made sense. Being a surgeon she never knew when she would be called in to the hospital in an emergency. It was as simple as that, just a matter of convenience. He would return it of course when he left soon. A thought that made him shudder.

Walking through the hallway, making his way in to her kitchen, Alex found Izzie sat at her laptop frowning. She looked up as she saw him, but she didn't say anything. Her eyes were different. They had lost some of the sparkle and warmth from earlier and now looked altogether more distant and aloof.

"Hey," he said wearily. If he'd done something, he hoped she would just come out and say what it was. He wasn't in the mood for games. The meeting with his new high flying lawyer had been intense and now he just needed to chill and process it all.

"How did it go with Olsen?" Izzie said as she stood up to face him, sweeping her light blonde hair across her face.

"Good," Alex said, gently running his hand through his dark hair, going on to explain. "He did his research and he's good. Turns out the kid and his father, they have a history at pulling this kind of crap. If it went to court, Olsen and his legal team would destroy them. The cops have dropped the case. They have nothing to charge me on with the domestic violence crap either. Not without a victim statement. They were just trying to scare me. The attempted murder is more complicated, but providing Jason Myers doesn't wake up and start accusing me, which he won't, I'm in the clear, they won't charge me."

"That's great," Izzie said forcing a small smile on to her face, her eyes fixed on her ex-husband. He certainly looked uncomfortable and on edge, which made her feel more than a little uneasy too.

Alex gave her a weak smile in return. He still couldn't quite believe that all his troubles could be made go away, just like that. Well most of his troubles that was. It sure was true that it wasn't what you knew, but who you knew.

"Looks like my medical licence has been reinstated now too," he said nodding as it slowly started to sink in. There had been a time when he had almost given up all hope that he would ever be able to practice medicine again and work as a surgeon. Now it looked as though he could even get his old job back if he wanted it. His lawyer had also suggested that he would have a good case to sue for wrongful dismissal too. Obviously that was unthinkable to Alex. His friends owned the hospital now. But he also couldn't help but feel a little bitter after the way everyone had turned their backs on him. He'd had no-one. Except Izzie that was. He turned his gaze back to her, eyeing her a tad suspiciously. There was definitely something she wasn't telling him he was sure of it.

"That's really great," Izzie said again slowly and a little flatly.

Alex's eyes narrowed even more as he said, "What?..What's up?"

Izzie paused for a moment, working out what to say. Her conversation with Meredith still playing over and over in her head. Deep down she felt certain Meredith had got the wrong end of the story, but she needed to hear that from Alex. She twisted her hands together and took a deep breath. "I spoke to Meredith."

Alex's eyes instantly darkened, he might have known Izzie wouldn't be able to keep her nose out of it. Always interfering, always thinking she knew best. And that was the one thing he had explicitly wanted her not to do. Contact Meredith.

"Alex, why does she think that you beat up Jo and Jason Myers?" Izzie blurted out firmly. Careful to look him straight in the eye.

Alex didn't say anything at first. He quickly looked away, avoiding her accusing stare. She was looking at him the exact same way that Meredith had looked at him and it left him with no choice, just as it had with Meredith.

"Because I did," he said coldly.

Izzie shook her head, "No." She said.

"Yes, it's true, Iz. I'm not the guy you think I am. I'm not a good guy. I'm just like my father, I lost my cool, I lashed out. I was angry." Alex said, his voice shaking with emotion, his whole body trembling with adrenaline.

"No. Alex, no. You don't have to do this," Izzie said boldly her eyes fixed firmly on his face as she continued to shake her head in disbelief.

"It's true, Iz, so just drop it," Alex muttered his cheeks burning, feeling as though the bottom was falling out of his world again.

"No, I won't drop it. Not until you look me in the eye and you tell me you did it." Izzie said taking a step towards him.

"Look me in the eye, Alex, tell me the truth," she repeated firmly. Knowing that it would only be then that she would know if he really was telling her the truth.

Eventually Alex looked up, meeting his ex-wife's big expressive light brown eyes as they searched his face, flooded with emotion. He knew then that there was no way he could continue to lie to her. It wouldn't work, not with Iz.

Meredith knew him better than anyone back in Seattle. She knew him like a brother. But she didn't know him like Izzie did. No-one did. Izzie was the only one that had looked deep in to his eyes, full of emotion, while making love to him and she had seen every part of him. There was a time when he had let her in fully, given her everything, laid his soul bare to her. She had given him something in return that no-one else could. She had made him realize who he really was and that he was worthy of being loved.

Now, looking in to her eyes again, Alex knew that no matter how hard he tried, they would never lose that connection. He would never be able to convince her he was capable of the things he had told Meredith. And Meredith had taken some convincing. She had persisted he was innocent until he had looked her straight in the eye and told her he had lost it. In the old days that wouldn't have fazed Meredith, it would have made her all the more determined to stand by him. But she was a different person these days. She was a Mother and she saw the world differently.

Continuing to stare at each other in the middle of Izzie's big immaculate kitchen, neither Alex or Izzie spoke for a moment. Izzie's eyes reflecting a hint of confusion, hurt and then slight relief. She bit her lip and eventually looked away. She had never really thought for one moment that Alex would have been capable of hurting anyone. She had just needed to hear what he had to say, and just by looking at him she knew all that she needed to. It all made perfect sense.

"Why would you say that, Alex? How could you be so freaking stupid?" Izzie said raising her voice as she placed one hand on her hip.

"You wouldn't understand," Alex snapped back. He had forgotten how stubborn she could be, how mad she could make him with her headstrong and judgemental attitude.

"Well, I understand that you were about to risk your career, your freedom, your life. Over what? An intern? You would take the fall for her? When are you going to grow up? This is real life now, we're not interns anymore," Izzie said even more loudly.

This time Alex couldn't control his growing anger as he saw red, his fists screwed up in to tight balls. No-one pushed his buttons like Izzie did. Provoked this kind of reaction from him. She had no business talking to him like that. She knew nothing about his current life, his relationship with Jo. He took a step closer to her, staring straight at her again as he screwed his face up and said, "Yeah, well we can't all be as perfect as you, you stupid bitch. So, you can judge all you like, from your perfect house in you perfect town with your perfect life. But, we can't all make thousands of dollars posing in our underwear, then get left millions of dollars by a rich dead guy we happened to get engaged to. Jeez…we don't all survive an unbeatable cancer, then run off leaving everyone that cared, to our rich Daddy to sort our lives out when we've screwed up…." He stopped talking suddenly his voice shaking with emotion as he trailed off. Looking over at the tears brimming in Izzie's eyes, he knew he had fucked up. Gone one step too far. But he couldn't take it back.

"Go on, say what you think why don't you," Izzie said fiercely, choking back the tears. She had forgotten how mean Alex could be when he was angry. He had said some of the most hurtful things to her over the years. She had always just ended up forgiving him, giving him the benefit of the doubt. But this time he wasn't her responsibility anymore. She had moved on from that.

"Iz, I…." he stammered, looking on helplessly as she just ignored him, turning and walking out the door.

* * *

Alone in an empty bar, the nearest one he could find to Izzie's house. Alex was contemplating what his next move should be as he stared miserably down at his beer. It should be a happy occasion. He had wanted to celebrate tonight, to celebrate with Izzie. Now all he could think was that he had to pack his bags and leave. He had his medical license back, his back accounts had been unfrozen. He could check in to a hotel. Or, he could even swallow his pride and go back to Seattle, he had a home there a life? Jo? Neither of those options particularly excited him though.

He felt like an ass. He had some hurtful things to Izzie, after she had just been trying to help him. Things that he hadn't even realized had been locked away inside him. Was he really that bitter and resentful that she was happy without him?

Was he jealous even about her new success? Had he always felt as though he was inferior to her? She had always been so beautiful and popular, she had such incredible strength of character. She hadn't let her harsh upbringing stop her from following her dreams. Even when she had been really sick, she had never really needed Alex, not in the same way that Jo or any of his other past girlfriends had. Maybe that was what had been the death of their marriage. His insecurities and her stubbornness and inability to see things from his point of view.

That aside he couldn't leave her like this. Despite it almost killing him at times, he still loved her, he always would. He was still a little mad at her for interfering and calling Meredith. But although he didn't want to hear what she had to say after that, she was the only person that could really talk some sense in to him. He was mad at her because she had been right. She still had the ability to hold a mirror up to all his flaws, all his weaknesses.

But the look of pain in her eyes after he had yelled at her had almost broken him, knowing he was solely responsible for upsetting her. She had gone out of her way to be there for him and she didn't deserve for him to behave like a total jerk.

* * *

Lying back on her bed, Izzie closed her eyes. Trying to shut out the past few days of her life. They almost felt like a dream. Alex had turned up out of the blue, he had needed her, and she had jumped at the chance to be there for him. To somehow try and make amends for the cruel way she had walked out on him years before. She had spent many a lonely night, going over and over what she would say to him if she ever saw him again. How sorry she would tell him she was, then she could let him know how much he had hurt her too.

But, somehow it had almost been as though none of that even mattered, when he had turned up at her hospital bruised and broken. All that mattered was that they had more time together again. They had just fallen back together. That was the easy part. Now this was the hard part. The letting go all over again.

Izzie had heard the front door closing after she had gone upstairs to get away from him. She knew Alex had gone and she wasn't sure if he would ever come back, which despite everything made her feel an overwhelming sadness.

Although she was pretty mad at him, she didn't want him to leave like this. He had said some pretty hurtful things and she had been a little shocked that he still felt so bitterly towards her. But she wouldn't allow him to make her feel guilty. He had turned his back on her back in Seattle, he hadn't been prepared to give her just one second chance, or forgive her, after all the many times she had forgiven him over the years and that had hurt her more than anything else. The cancer, losing George, getting fired. All that had paled in to insignificance compared to losing the love of her life. After she had gone, he hadn't even attempted to make one phone call to check she was okay. So, she thought he had no right now to make her feel as though she had done something wrong.

* * *

For the second time that day, Alex slowly closed the front door. This time hit with a rush of nerves as he slowly made his way up the stairs. He could see a light from underneath Izzie's door. Taking a deep breath, he knocked gently.

"Izzie," he said. There was a silence from the other side as he turned the handle and pushed it open slightly to see she was lying in bed. She looked up as she saw him and he could see her eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"Izzie, err..can I talk to you?" he said.

"Alex, it's getting late. I'm kind of tired and I've got work tomorrow." She said wearily.

"Well, I'm going to go back to Seattle, so I just wanted to say goodbye," he replied leaning against the door frame awkwardly, he was no good at this.

"I think you said all you needed to," she replied as she started to cry again.

"Izzie, I never meant to hurt you," Alex said his eyes full of concern as he looked on helplessly at her as she wiped the tears away from her eyes.

Sitting up Izzie said quietly, "You didn't. I'm just tired."

"Iz," Alex replied walking fully in to the room to sit down on the bed next to her as she started to cry harder.

Izzie couldn't help it. She could try and put on a front as much as she wanted, but the truth was she had let Alex in again and he had hurt her. He was about to leave and she knew she would probably never see him again.

"I shouldn't have said those things to you and I'm sorry. I was angry, because you were right. I shouldn't have lied to Meredith. But, I just knew if I told her the truth that it was Jo that lost it, both times. She wouldn't have let it go. She would have made me tell the truth and I couldn't do that."

"I know," Izzie replied gently wiping her eyes again as she realized that was one of the reasons that had always made her love him so much. Deep down he was the kindest, most incredible and decent guy she knew. He was one in a million. She honestly couldn't think of many other people that would be willing to sacrifice themselves like that. But it also infuriated her.

"Those things I said to you, Iz. I didn't mean them. It's great that you have done so well for yourself, that you're happy. I guess, it just makes me a little sad though, to see you living the life that I always thought we'd be living together." Alex said slowly, looking at her to gauge her reaction.

"It makes me sad too," Izzie replied, her eyes glistening with tears as she gazed in to his.

He reached for her hand and moved a little closer to her. Izzie knew she would probably live to regret what she was about to say next, but the words just seemed to come tumbling out of her mouth, as she whispered. "Don't go tonight, stay."

Alex didn't need to be asked twice as before he knew it his lips were crashing in to hers, the kiss full of emotion and passion as they found themselves falling back on the bed together.

Breaking the kiss apart, Alex whispered breathlessly, "I never stopped loving you, not for a second."

Izzie felt a warm glow spread across her as she took in his words as she replied, "I never stopped loving you either," pulling his face back towards hers.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N - So, I finally got around to updating! I hope this chap is okay, as I will be honest it was a little rushed. Thank you so much for sticking with the story! As always please keep reviewing, I love hearing feedback.

* * *

Izzie twisted the corner of the duvet tentatively as she sat up in bed. She glanced across at the other side to see it was empty, startlingly empty. It wasn't a great surprise. She knew Alex was going back to Seattle. She just hasn't anticipated quite how hard it would be to have to accept he had finally gone.

She quickly threw back the bed sheets and climbed out of bed. Making her way straight in to the shower. Switching it in, she leaned in to the comfort of the warm clear water bouncing off her naked skin as her mind raced over the events of the last couple of days.

She had gone against all her better judgement and asked Alex to stay the night before last, the night of his emotional outburst and their big fight, the night he had originally been planning to go back to Seattle. And although she feared she was setting herself up for a fall. She hadn't been disappointed. They had made love several times; it had been hot, intimate and intense, just like the many other times they'd had make up sex over the years. This time though, maybe it had been a little too intense. But the next day it was back to reality. Izzie had been back to work as a surgical doctor in a busy hospital.

It had been a particularly busy shift and she hadn't made it home until nearly 3am. Alex had been waiting for her though. He had also gone to the trouble of preparing her a meal, to her surprise, which had melted her heart a little and also made her feel a tad guilty that she had been so late. He had appeared a little embarrassed, saying it was no big deal, he had just wanted to thank her for everything she had done. Izzie had known then deep down that maybe it was the beginning of the end. They had gone to bed together again, but this time Izzie had just collapsed in Alex's arms and fallen in to a deep sleep. Waking the next morning to find him gone.

Stepping back in to her bedroom, wrapped in a skimpy towel, her hair dripping wet on to the carpet, Izzie spotted a folded up note by Alex's side of the bed. She felt a knot form in her stumoch as she picked it up. There scribbled in his typically unreadable handwriting was: _Iz, sorry didn't want to wake you, needed to catch an early flight. Take care, Ax._

Putting it down and sinking on to the edge of the bed, Izzie wasn't sure whether to feel relieved, hurt or a little angry. It wasn't an essay about how he thought it was best they didn't see each other again. But it wasn't any great declaration of love either. It was the kind of letter she'd expect from a girlfriend visiting for the weekend. She had stupidly maybe, expected a little more from Alex. He'd looked her in the eye the night before last, holding her close and he'd told her he still loved her. She'd told him she'd never stopped loving him either. Surely that had to mean something?

But, she had to remember although Alex had come a long way from the screwed up guy she had met as an intern, he still was never going to be great with talking about his feelings. She glanced at her watch, she was late, thinking about Alex would have to wait until later. Because right now she had people counting on her. She also had a boyfriend to think about and she knew Josh would press her for a decision on their relationship status sooner rather than later.

* * *

Back in Seattle, Alex wasn't sure why he felt so damn nervous walking up to the front door of his own house. Maybe, because he had been nothing but utterly miserable in the last few months that he'd lived there. He'd regretted buying Meredith's house on many occasions. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. But now he realized that his decision had been based on pure nostalgia, he had just been unable to let go of the past. But now it was very clear to him, that some things were better left in the past. You couldn't re-create a feeling no matter how hard you tried.

He also knew he was feeling apprehensive at the thought of seeing Jo. He had no idea if she would be in, or if she was even still living at his place. He had wanted to call her, to tell her he was coming home. That the charges against him had been dropped, he was free to work again, re-build his life, their life maybe? But somehow he hadn't been able to find the courage. But now as he slowly opened the front door he realized it would be good to see her, to talk, no matter how hard it would be.

He slowly walked across the hall and froze. He could hear someone in the kitchen. It had to be Jo. They lived alone since Cristina had moved out. Suddenly seeing her again didn't seem like such a good idea as adrenaline flooded his system. He had no idea how she would react to him turning up out of the blue.

Walking in to the kitchen a look of confusion suddenly crossed his handsome dark features. It wasn't Jo, but Meredith stood in front of him! At first he felt relief that he didn't have to have some big confrontation with Jo. But the feeling quickly faded to shock, rather than seeing his ex, he was seeing his old friend instead. He wasn't sure why he was so surprised, seeing Meredith in her old kitchen, the kitchen of the house she had lived in for many years. Seemed like the most natural thing in the world. He almost half expected Izzie, George and Lexie to come bustling in any minute, banging around, whilst bitching about this that and the other. Except, Meredith didn't live there anymore, Izzie was gone, and George and Lexie were dead. Everything had changed.

Meredith looked up at him, clearly as surprised as he was as she said, "What are you doing here?"

"Was going to ask you the same question," Alex responded raising an eyebrow as they both stayed glued to the spot, looking at each other. The air full of tension, at the memory of their last conversation.

"Oh, Jo gave me her key asked me to keep an eye on the place, we didn't know when you were coming back," Meredith explained, brushing a loose strand of hair away from her eye looking a little flustered.

"What? Where is she? Is she okay?" Alex asked suddenly feeling a little panicked.

"She transferred to a different hospital. She's fine, but she said she needed to focus on her career. You know she failed her intern exam?" Meredith said.

Alex wasn't surprised; Jo had been so pre-occupied with all their drama that she hadn't put much effort in to studying for her exams. He had told her he was worried, but she had just brushed it off. He suddenly felt overwhelmingly guilty, the last thing he wanted to do was screw up her career. And as much as he wanted to see her again, he knew this time he needed to stay away.

"She's not gone far though, she's still on the same number, I'm sure if you talk to her you can work something out, Alex." Meredith said kindly taking in the look of concern on his face.

"Yeah, maybe," Alex said, as he slowly started to realize that was the last thing he wanted to do. He was in no position to be sorting other peoples lives out, when his own was in such a mess. And if he was honest that was all it had ever been with Jo, him feeling the need to be there for her, because he could relate to her, to what she had been through, but that wasn't the groundings for a lasting relationship, he knew that now. He had felt safe with Jo because she got him, they had had fun. He had thought it was love. But it was amazing how quickly he could go from being in love with Jo, to _not_ being in love with Jo. Although, he knew, he would still call her up soon, just to check on how she was doing. He wouldn't be able to stop himself.

Meredith looked a little more uncomfortable as the atmosphere between them became even more tense and she said, "How are you feeling now?"

"Better thanks…..It was nothing serious," he said brushing his hand through his hair. This sure was one super awkward conversation he hadn't been anticipating today.

"Have you been okay?" She said with genuine concern.

"Yeah," Alex replied.

"Izzie called," she suddenly blurted out.

"Yeah, I was staying with her for a while," Was all Alex could reply, he really didn't want to get in to the details, not now.

"Are you two….?" Meredith said apprehensively.

Alex couldn't lie, he knew Meredith could read him like a book, so he said. "It's complicated she lives in San Jose now."

"Alex, I know you'll never love anyone like Izzie. I'm glad she could be there for you," Meredith said with utter sincerity, as Alex felt his cheeks flush slightly as he just nodded.

To his relief, she didn't press him further, instead she changed the subject as she said, "I spoke to Jackson, Alex, he said all the charges against you have been dropped, so are you planning to come back to work?" Meredith questioned twisting her hands together and biting her lip a little as she glanced at him.

"I honestly have no idea," Alex replied, equally as awkwardly.

Meredith nodded as her eyes searched his face and she looked as though she was battling with some internal struggle as she said, "I-I also spoke to Jo, properly. She told me everything about what happened between you, the truth, Alex. Why did you lie?" She said as her pale green eyes met his dark ones straight on.

"I had to," was all he could reply.

Just as Meredith was about to say something else, they were suddenly interrupted by a shrill squawking sound that Alex recognised only too well from his line of work. He looked to the floor to see a baby carrier at Meredith's feet, and tucked inside it wrapped in a sky blue blanket was Meredith's tiny son, Bailey. She kneeled down and picked him out frantically patting his back to sooth him. "He's hungry," she explained to Alex over his tiny shoulder.

Alex was speechless for a second, he'd completely forgotten Meredith had a new born baby.

"Listen, Alex, I'm sorry," Meredith said as baby Bailey's cries eventually started to ease off and a single tear slid down her cheek as she rocked him cradling his head. "I didn't think I'd get the chance to say this to you. But I'm sorry I ever doubted you. I don't know what I was thinking. I was just so exhausted and emotional and hormonal, nothing seemed to make any sense. But I see now I was wrong, I should have been there for you. I knew you would never have been able to have done those things. Despite how convincing you were."

Alex didn't respond at first as he watched his friend crying in front of him, he hated seeing her so upset, to think he was the cause of that upset. But it also touched him in ways he didn't think possible that he meant so much to her. He'd been friendless most of his life, he certainly never thought he'd find a friend that cared about him the way Meredith did, still did.

Slowly he walked up to her and rather than say anything to comfort her he simply wrapped one strong protective arm around her tiny frame, from where she stood still clutching her baby tightly to her. Allowing her to softly cry in to his hoodie, Alex knew that no matter what happened from this point on, Meredith would always be there.

* * *

A/N - Okay, so this chapter was mainly Alex/Mer, but I really felt they needed to clear the air. Next chap, will be more Alex/Izzie : )


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